Today I

a memory jars me

Today I
got in the car
and that song
was playing
the one that
reminds me of you --
and I realized

Today is
that day,
the last day
I ever saw you
nine years,
today.

Did you know
that day?
when you shook
your hair,
and smiled at us?
eyes sparkling
in the sun?

Did you know
it was goodbye?
was that why
you were so happy?
your decision
was done?

Today I
listened to that song.
I cried again,
I asked why again.
and you still can't tell me,
why you took that rope
and climbed that tree.

Author's Note

I don't know what to ask for here.

Reviews

[Caradoc]

This reminded me too much of the poem I wrote about my father's passing...and alternately of our previous handful of conversations.

I won't say anything more other than that this piece made me feel.

-Cara

[Lyn Anderson]

I still can't read this one without crying. I loved that girl. She had such a light. And she snuffed it out herself. I try my best to remember the day I met her, and we played on the trampoline. She was 9 and I was 28. She killed herself a few months shy of her sixteenth birthday.

[Caradoc]

That's terribly sad.

[NoelHC]

Time does not heal all wounds, they can re-open so easily. My cousin came home to find her husband hanging in the basement. I could not comprehend how she was able to live in that house for a number of years after.
My thoughts are with you.
Well expressed, as always KL.

[Lyn Anderson]

The ripple effects are sprinkled throughout my writing. This one event spread like a tragedy virus through the family.

[MomzillaNC]

Oh my. What a tragic write.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you for stopping in. Some of my best, and most painful writing comes from this one event.

[MomzillaNC]

I can well understand that it would. You're welcome.

[realmwriter]

Ouch. I wrote something similar to this and when I can find it, I'll send you the link.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you so much. Yeah, this one hurt.

[Coyote Poetry]

The old songs can take us to good and bad places. To lose someone to suicide or surprise death. Is never easy. Thank you for sharing the powerful and emotional words.
Coyote

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Yes, the grief from those type of deaths is a permanent state of being.

[Matching Socks]

Is this saying what I think it's saying?
Bad memories will haunt us for the rest of our days unfortunately.
They never go away. :(

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes it is. That was the hole I was in that I needed the shovel for. The shovel was my rained out story.

[Neville]

Hey Cat, this is simply quite beautiful & I know how much it must have hurt getting it out here.. Get in touch......... N x

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks. Glad to see you.

[Rene Salinas]

Well I thought to myself when it finished Oh no! then I thought How easy it is not to write about something like this? Then I thought How difficult is is to actually write something about this? Sorry I tend to use what I call brain a lot but right after all that internal masturbation I stopped.
You have written a very beatiful aspect of life although the subject is heavy. You have also managed to uplift the memory of tha someone and pay homage. You have certainly managed to make me sink in respect of the memory, and also remind us that although we maybe should conder this every so often we treat death poorly which we are not going to escape. And after all that to say I am sorry for whomever this was in the hope that where it is that we do go peace is at last with Him (non generic)

Thankyou KL

[Lyn Anderson]

This was a hard piece to write. But at the time, I had to write it. Thank you.

[Frieda P]

Oh god, I just got back on the cafe and this is the second thing I've read, I want to run and hide. I literally stopped breathing when I read those last lines, you know my sister committed suicide by hanging herself, the 10th will be five years, feels like an eternity and just yesterday, one can never wrap their brains around the intentions, so many questions left unanswered, felt this one in my bones KL. I love the music but it always reminds me of that day...

[Lyn Anderson]

I am sorry Friedakins. I will pm you.

[Frieda P]

Thanks KL, I'm sorry too, I know anyone who has to deal with this pain, needs to purge the angst.

[Vidya Bacchus]

This is so sad Kit Kat.Who knows why and there are never any answers.Sometimes life just overcomes you and you can't see any end .

[Lyn Anderson]

You are correct. There are no answers, that is why it makes for endless bouts of back to it grief. I don't feel like this about people who died of other causes.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Because they had no choice but someone who commits suicide chooses to end their life and we can't understand how it got so bad and no one noticed I guess.

[Lyn Anderson]

In the case of the 5 people in my life who were close to me who did it, everyone knew, everyone tried to help, and at the end they faked it -- that's when you know they've decided, when they are too happy, too bubbly, they have accepted it. You can try to stop them, but they will find a way.

[Vidya Bacchus]

Oh my .I'm sorry to hear that.Life takes so much work some people can't handle it its too hard and they just don't want to deal with it any more.Its very sad but true.If they have decided to do it they will find a way.