the challice

he passed it to me without a thought

He passed me
the challice
filled with
thought,
betrayal lined
the rim,
and his ego
dripped
and seeped
from seams
porous from
the poison
he passed
to me
without a
thought,
for my fragile
heart --
he only
wanted to
fill his own
to the brim.

Reviews

[MomzillaNC]

Nothing cuts so deep into our fragile hearts as betrayal. Your meter is almost staccato, each line a period, tapping out every cut.

[Lyn Anderson]

this one is the most raw, because it's when I first found out I was being deceived.

[MomzillaNC]

Raw hurts to pen. But, it's better once you let it go from your heart through your fingers. I've written a few "raw" and visceral lines myself, such as "This Ravaged Hell"

[Lyn Anderson]

I will have to check it out. Thanks.

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

[redzone]

This is what i mean about reading but not always commenting. The problem lays in the lies that make the poison seem so sweet tasting and once over the lips it's too late .. KL you write with a stiletto tongue sharp witted and well aimed. Now, back away from that challice, or better perhaps throw it in his face ..

I read earlier hope it's not too late to comment now .. ~~redzone

[Lyn Anderson]

No, thanks, I appreciate that. Yes, I believe I did just that.:)

[NoelHC]

Evil incarnate passing you a cup of hemlock to quaff, I picture the devil himself passing you the chalice. Vivid imagery here, well written, and powerful.

[ron]

Ah this makes more sense to me now that I have a better understanding. Very clever KL :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Why thank you Ron, it is hard to be betrayed.

[ron]

It makes perfect sense now that I know who it is about. I it is, but you have a few of us who you know are genuine. Big hugs

[Frieda P]

Oddly, this reminds me of someone to a tee...erhum. *cough* ;)

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes, I am sure, we all have had someone pass us their poison backwash once in a while and call it bordeaux.

[Frieda P]

Hmmm transparent Bordeaux indeed.

[Lyn Anderson]

Yes, I was remiss on capitalization there, oops, my bad.

[Frieda P]

Wow this is from July, and people still aren't in tune....funny that, he commented too.

[Lydia Shutter]

A fantastic metaphor! Others can not feed us poison unless we allow them to.....that is the truth. So much selfishness in this world, isn't there? I liked this one a lot. The succinct lines are powerful. Lydi**

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks. I was starting to wonder why people were over looking this one.

[Lydia Shutter]

It happens.....if you post a lot of poetry at once.

[Lyn Anderson]

Well, especially after struggling to read, write or post at all for a week with a stupid Java glitch.

[Lydia Shutter]

There is something going on here anyway. Whenever I visit the site, I get a lot of spam mail immediately after. not a good thing.

[Lyn Anderson]

I know there is. There are a lot of hackers and ne'er do wells getting into cracks on this site -- and I know it is this site because the computer is clean and works on all other sites without the same problem.

[Lydia Shutter]

Exactly. Have a good evening, my friend. Time for me to go.