A glimpse into me, when I was away from the cafe' for less than an hour - a napkin jotting session --
across the sea
across the sea he came to me words on parchment faded by the sun he is there somewhere under the clutter inside a dark heart he shone a light for a moment across the sea.
a long time since she put pen to paper felt the words flow through and past her calloused finger --- like how she lets him linger, whispering past the echoes of her mind a desperate sheep looking for its keeper true to her true to be to good to be true he doesn't love me.
I am not in love with you. I love you. and somewhere truth lies in the heart of the beholder ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I should have known I couldn't trust you when you brought me marmalade and brie. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
fumbled
Reaching for her hand in the dark he fumbled found her heart.
this is sort of a glimpse into how I write and the creative process for me -- sort of a mad rambling on paper -- it's been a while since I actually used paper and not straight to type, it felt kind of good.
My Review
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A amazing flow of poem. Each poem adding to the emotion and strength of the tale. The poem brought me in and held me to the last words. No weakness in the outstanding poetry.
Coyote
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much. I appreciate that, since I think your writing is outstanding in its honesty and clar.. read moreThanks so much. I appreciate that, since I think your writing is outstanding in its honesty and clarity of thought, with wonderful imagery.
nothing like napkin poems...i used to write on napkins all the time...and often save them in books, only to go back later and fine much material that i could form into poems...there is a certain progression when that pen hits the napkin...i just have to be careful not to use a poem to wipe that sauce splatter from my lip...
Only things I noticed of note were on the second poem, Alrighty, this is just a minor little thing, and not at all an actual error, but I felt I should shine some light on the matter. Callused usually refers exclusively to 'hardened skin' but Calloused carries an additional nuance of 'emotionally hardened' in addition to the prior meaning. Which spelling you use can subtly alter the nuances here, so your call. ;) An actual typo though, is that you should have used 'too' in "too good to be". And I am not entirely sure if the last be in the stanza was on purpose; did you mean 'me'? These are just little quibbles, but I have noticed that you often point out these small things in your reviews, so I wanted to return the gesture. All in all, these are entertaining, since they show a greater story of your 'writing binge' They are all much more interesting as a whole BECAUSE I know that you wrote them more-or-less, back to back.
Yes, calloused I should change, because I prefer my O U Rs anyway -- being Canadian and all -- but, .. read moreYes, calloused I should change, because I prefer my O U Rs anyway -- being Canadian and all -- but, as for the to -- I do not mean TOO -- so it stands as is -- it is intended as a run on thought
that ends in me.:) the original was something a little different, but I like it with that particular twist. I appreciate the careful thought and time you put into your reviews. You are a rarity.:)
10 Years Ago
ahhh, interesting, I didn't even consider that... whoops. You give thoughtful reviews, so I return .. read moreahhh, interesting, I didn't even consider that... whoops. You give thoughtful reviews, so I return in kind. If you regularly gave me one-liners, you could expect the same in return... ;)
10 Years Ago
No whoops at all. The way I see it, sometimes something may be intentional, and sometimes not, and t.. read moreNo whoops at all. The way I see it, sometimes something may be intentional, and sometimes not, and the only way we know the author's intent is to explore it.:)
Nusquam is known for giving detailed reviews, KL. He's quite something. :) And yes, I understand the.. read moreNusquam is known for giving detailed reviews, KL. He's quite something. :) And yes, I understand the correction now, thanks!
10 Years Ago
And forever more... Nusquam was known as the 'detailed reviewer'. Well... time to change my name I .. read moreAnd forever more... Nusquam was known as the 'detailed reviewer'. Well... time to change my name I guess?
10 Years Ago
What would you rather be, Nusquam? It's an honor denied to many.
KLG have you check and read one of my piece " No Name " . I wrote about the feeling of unrequited lo.. read moreKLG have you check and read one of my piece " No Name " . I wrote about the feeling of unrequited love...
I write under a pseudonym.
I don't do Read Requests, but you can PM me if you want me to read something specific. I make friends with people who I read and interact with. I won't accept random reque.. more..