Napkin jotting

the creative process

     You remember grade and high school? The tedious process of drafting, redrafting and editing? You know what I used to do? Write the whole dang thing out, and then go back and make notes off the finished product, meticulously putting realistic notes in the margins, scribbles, and question marks. I started doing that after being chastised for not showing the whole system I used to get there.  I was told, early on, that I couldn't possibly think like I do, and must be copying or hiding something, so I faked it.
     I have gotten comments about how much I write and post before, as if I am looking for something by continuously writing.  I went through a five year drought in my writing, and am suddenly writing like a mad fiend to keep up with all the ideas bouncing off the walls of my mind. (That is a whole other story, left for another day).    
     Of course, it is nice to get feedback, and great that people read, but I am not very "well read" at the Cafe' - I think most my stuff has less than 20 views. I ditched a pen and paper years ago, and use a netbook. Having found that transferring from Word to the Cafe' has its pitfalls, I primarily write directly in to the program, using it like I used napkins and business cards and coasters etc., in the past. I remember how nuts I used to make my friends. I would be drunk as hell, madly scribbling on anything, begging waitresses for pens if I had to. I have written in mascara and lipstick, although eyeliner works best in a pinch. Smart phones and computers are an absolute God send, especially for a person who types 90+ words per minute.
     Every poet has poems they like better than others, and ones that are random thoughts - and here I let them all hang out. As much as I appreciate some suggestions, the truth is, there is only so much I am ABLE to go back and change about a poem or story without ripping its original heart out. I might even think, hey, I wish I could, but I just can't. That poem, that story, fell out in one huge continuous chunk. I can tweak it here and there, but I can't rethink it. I can't do that you see, because I didn't plan it in the first place. I get an idea for a story or a poem, and if I don't extract it that minute, it is gone, sometimes forever.
     I could never explain the way I think to my teachers, and so, I just pretended I was like them. I was told later that I was a "divine inspiration" type writer, as I am sure many of the others on the Cafe' are as well. It isn't bad, or good, or special, it's just the way it is. I would love to be one of those meticulous drafting, perfecting sort of writers who are able to unthink and reshape their own original ideas. I unfortunately, am incapable of doing such a thing, and the drivel I come up with when I attempt that is something only suitable for a dollar store greeting card. So please don't take offense if I am unable to implement suggestions on reworking my stuff. I can't undo what's already been done.
    

Author's Note

Slice me, dice me, or ignore me, what you can't do is stop me.

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

Rather often, a reader will say of my work, "I was just getting into it--can't you make it longer?" They mean well, and on a few occasions, I have gone back and expanded, but usually not. I think our writing processes are similar, in that stories sometimes just fall out whole. Now, about your lack of readers--it takes a bit of time to get known. Once you make contact with a few of the right folks, you'll have no problem.

[Neville]

Who wants to stop ya? Rant on, N