Stationary Biking (into the ocean)

Alternately titled: Stationary Biking (across the Atlantic)

Cyclical pacing
back-to-backspacing
Pulse racing
                  here-there
          here
here.

heart
     thumping
          back
          peddle
   back
peddle
back.
      Spinning
breathing
       reeling
          spinning
feeling
          dizzy
feelingdizzy
feeling
better...slow...up
            better

                  slow

            down...

Better
Stop.    


 

Reviews

[Cah]

Wow. Double wow.

While visually the piece is wonderful in terms of formatting, this demands to be read aloud. The repetiton, rythm and rhyme combine so wonderfully to give a sing-song cycleing effect. This is a great example of recreating physical sensation with word choice and line breaks. I'm right there with you on the bike. Nice use of elipsis, too. Personally, I might have put an extra blank line between "slow" and "down" but I'm being very picky when I say that. While I really like the whole piece, there's something really nice-in-the-mouth about "Cyclical pacing/ back-to-backspacing"

Good craft.

Great fun.

[Cah]

Oh, and interesting alternative title. =)