Looking Back

There is more to friendships than inside jokes.

Looking Back

When I look back

When I remember

I see us laughing

And we’re smiling

Joking around and being

happy

The first thing

that comes to mind

Is our newest joke

And I remember

laughing so hard

We couldn't breathe

But when I dig deeper

There is crying

Hugging and comforting

Leaving in the darkness

Or I think of long nights

Sleepless nights

With moaning and crying

Waking up and trying

to help

Having to watch you

in pain

At other times

I remember nothing

I tried to make memories

But all I made

Was your back turn towards me

Talking and laughing

Happened in front of me

But not with me

What did I ever do to hurt you?

I sat with you

Walked with you

But no one acknowledged

me

Like I was invisible

And I cried myself to sleep

Wondering why

Later

you said we got mad at each other

For stupid reasons

And I wondered why you could have been mad at me

How all that was upsetting me

was stupid

Or me standing up for myself

And you walking away

It felt like a punch in the gut

Hearing what you said

behind my back

Then one cried and apologized

And one said

What may as well

Have been nothing

And kept on

With the same thing

Acting as if I’m

Not good enough

To be included

Now, sometimes

It feels as if we

are so close

And sometimes

It doesn’t

But if all the time

Everything was perfect

It wouldn’t be life

I’ve learned to

Appreciate what I have

And not want

What I don’t

So for those of you

Who have treated this

As a two way street

Supporting me as I support you

And who don’t turn me

away,

Thank you.

And to those

Who think they are too good for me

I won’t chase after  you

To change your mind

Because that isn’t

Worth my time.

Author's Note

Like most of my poetry, this is based on personal experience, it kind of tells a story. I hope that shows.

Reviews

Enjoyed:
1) Has a tangible moral lesson
2) Good organization
3) A reader can easily relate

Could change:
1) Proofreading errors, such as capitalizing the start of some lines and not others

[BrynnaW.]

I understood everything you wrote... All of it is true. Very well written and good job! Keep on writing!

[Ripple of Aqua]

I see the understandable story of your bliss and then your struggle. Troubling ties this story tells. Very vivid and great.