Macabre

Don't you dare talk down to me;
Your stupidity is not becoming.
You're vein, and oh too hypocritical--
Macabre and doubtful; you live on fiction.
It's not like you are worth the fight:
Just like everyone else, you're naive.
Quit trying to be indifferent, now,
It's so cliché and way too logical.
The winds are humming melodies,
And you'll be the first to follow,not lead

Reviews

[ambur]

Actually, vein can mean several things. In this case, I wanted to use it as a distinct mode of expression and/or a thought. Therefore, the word fits perfectly. But thank you.

[Skin]

vain

not vein

[Pax Analog]

This reads like the serious back story of a Gahan Wilson cartoon.

A crisp diatribe at the unfathomable presumptions of all the usual "normalities."

Even new-agey Chopra referred to the "psycho-pathology of the norm."

This poem is like a punk science experiment, identifying the "black hole" of "Mr./Ms. Jones" by closing escape hatches. This one is incapable of a creative response, yet always assumes a platter of platitudes.

His/her ordinary stupid normal presumptuousness is macabre.

[Chris Willits]

It feels like your lashing out at someone I wonder who.

[ambur]

Typing mistake. Thanks for the heads up. As for the capitalization: I don't believe it has anything to do with whether or not a poem is choppy or not. However, I do respect your opinion. As for the meaning: it's very clear. I used vivid diction to point out the flaws and actions of another. It's pretty simple, actually.

[Ari]

It's "Your", not "You're" in the second line. Also, not every line should be capitalized. It gives this a very choppy feel. Despite reading it three times, I cannot come up with any idea of what you are trying to say here. It just doesn't flow together in any sort of coherent form.