Amazed

Never want to break the moment,
Stop the smiles and thoughts aside.
My mind is playing tricks on me,
a foreplay of fight before the war.
Going down easy isn't what I am;
I like challenge, but ignorance is
Coming from all directions, now.
I want to see a place inside, the one
Where no one else has ever been.
Breaking words, and holding fate,
Playing a waltz inside your eyes,
I could dance in them for more
Days than I have to offer you.

You've played me at my own game,
Ignored my ignorance, and tossed
My words into a heap, a pile of
Forgotten luck; a once deared child
Now a lustless bundle of waste.
Words are hidden, and the sun
Refuses to come out and play.
The moon chases us with a hidden
Agenda, and it plays a movie upon
Your face; a silent film of black and blue.
Try not to stay gone long, darling,
I'm amazed, and I need someone to tell.

Reviews

[Tara]

I love this one too. It does have a universal feel to it...a message for all of us...my favourite lines are the last five of each stanza. Ignorance in ourselves must constantly be challenged. We have to open our minds to the realm of possibilities and recognize when fate is calling us out.

[Perdition]

God how you do get it so right. These words were not made by a poet...This is the whisper of something universal...something immortal...in the hands of "it's just little ole me". I imagine that would be hard for most to see this kind of gift and yet still push you down in the autumn leaves or hit you over the head with a loaf of bread..lol.
Well...I dig it so there...put that in your snowball and throw it... I'll even give ya one for free.
NO I WON'T AHhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Thanks for the cool read!

[LostCauze[:P]]

I really enjoyed this poem and the message within it. The structure of the poem kept it neat and the vocab you used gave it a mood. I really enjoyed it. i cant really give you a detailed review because im at school, but good job and keep writing.

[speakingcolors]

Wow! Really good. I can't even describe how it just makes me think about life and my feelings. Thanks so much for being able to put this thought down in writing.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Very nice and inspiring. I was definitly feeling this piece. Well done.

[Lydia Shutter]

There are a few grammatical mistakes in this write. (for instance, "Most of the time we mistaken" should be "most of the time we mistake") but your meaning is not lost. Carpe Diem! If faced with the prospect of a limited lifetime (which we all actually have, but we choose to ignore the fact) many would spend their days quite differently. A worthwhile read. Lydia

[Hold Fast Hope]

I love this so much. You always amaze me with your work.


-- Making up actions and thoughts to a steady chorus. -- amazing line. well the whole thing is really good and well written.