1000

A thousand eyes open wide

Fail to see what is inside

A thousand ears hear words spoken
Could never hear that she is broken

A thousand salty tears soaked her hands
From that pain that no one understands

A thousand breaths she'll never take
Bleeding to sleep she'll never wake

A thousand knives stabbed her chest
For the peace of endless rest

Author's Note

I do not want any negative comments for this. I feel it is the best thing i have ever written.

Reviews

[Cassandra]

..um u cant say that you don't want negative comments. You get what comments people leave.. If they're good. .good .. if they're not.. take what you can from them. Appreciate that people took time to read and write about your work.

About your piece here.. I think it is a strong, painful and yet beautiful write. I see neglect and hurt and it is emphasized by the tiny font. Good poem.

A thousand ears hear words spoken
Could never hear that she is broken

[Bryce Simonds]

I agree with Ari. Even the best poets have negative critisism. Thought I do still think this is good. And again, I agree with Ari, font could be a little bigger. Thought the italic line at the beginning can stay, that was a nice touch. This reminded me of the song "Ten Thousand Fists in the Air" by Disturbed. Probably because of the "thousand" part, but yeah I was just saying, haha.
This was a good write, I especially liked the lines:

A thousand breaths she'll never take
Bleeding to sleep she'll never wake

But real quick, I had an idea. Maybe you could make all the second (or first) lines have the same amount of syllables? I know you'd have to change it around a bit, but I think it'd make it a little bit better. But that's just my opinion, this is your writing and you do what you want with it, don't let ANYONE else tell you that you HAVE to change it.
Thanks for sharing the good write.
-Bryce

[Ari]

First, you really can't say that you don't want any negative comments. Even if it IS the best thing you've ever written (and I think that it is certainly very good), poetry can ALWAYS use improvement.

Second, I would make the font just a touch bigger. It is a bit hard to read because it is so small, and if you're proud of it, I bet you want people to be able to read it.