Warm Exit

I can remember almost every detail of the times we spent together.

It’s the thing I’m least proud of in my life.

Self Disaster.

You lead me to “love” and then gave me a warm exit.

But I swear to God I’ve never been so cold in my life. 

I can’t tell you how badly I wish you weren’t around.

You contribute to my downward spiral. 

But it’s not your fault. 

And this is me just taking up for you,

because if I’m being f*****g honest, 

You’re half to blame for the start of it. 

I’ve never been more hopeful than when I was with you. 

And now I’m just a drunk, and hope that every time I close my eyes I 

won’t have to open them. 

But I keep waking up. 

And I swear it’s just a dream, 

But then I remember that you had me in the palm of your hand, used

my bed and time, fucked my heart and left. 

Then came back. And left. 

Again and again. 

I hope you get it. That all this that you feel, that you used me for,

all your reasons, 

you became a mirror image of the person who did this to you. 

You broke me.

I was whole.

And as soon as you slipped on your clothes you became everything

you never wanted to be. 

I realized that my happiest moment in life is the one that continues 

to carve itself into my brain as the moment I regret most. 

I regret you. 

And I think you regret me too.

And that’s what kills me the most. 

That night meant everything to me,

And nothing to you.