Any body there ?

A short story I entered for a contest .

 

I had just entered my first apartment. The perfect one for me sea facing ,cozy Just right I should say.

I began settling things in the bedroom first. When I realized there was an unfurnished portion of the wall. Never noticed it before. The unpainted corner had something eerie about it. An instinct told me to place my ears on the wall. What I heard made me skip a heartbeat.” Tick Tock tick Tock “I could hear the watch right behind it. Was there somebody there?  A cadaver ! Oh NO!!

Author's Note

Entered this for a contest . Tell me how it is ? will write a continuation later .

Reviews

[ganga ramesh]

i would like a longer one...but it is good and the cadaver thing is indeed the best one:)

[Erinne S.]

This was a good story! Very suspenseful towards the end! I hope you continue with this and make it longer :)

~Erinne

[Coyote Poetry]

You did very well. A complete tale in so few words. Nice feel of mystery and I like the surprise ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Devanshu Rajput]

oh greatly written...this small piece was great really...notify me when you add second chapter.

[BL]

It is a piece in itself and does not need a continuation as it has a nice open ending, leaving the reader to make a decision. Great atmosphere created.

[Em]

I like this and even though its short and simple it still had me wanting to read. It'd be cool if you made something longer out of it now.

[David Scott]

Ok... I guess the contest was to keep it very short...
I'll give this a pass but not a "loved it" for me.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

Sounded like Indian actor Jackie Shroff movie 100 days but in your own creative writing style.
Smallest short story i ever read and therefore interesting as the climax is there to see and without turning pages or scrolling down.
Thanks

[Ambereen]

really i never have seen this movie being an Indian though .... Must go see this one for some ideas

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

No...you dont need a movie-theratre or scripts for ideas...
just close your eyes right now...and see what your mind wants you to see...the biggest multi-plex is your own inner-vision and the 3rd eye on your forehead is the suprememe projector....it projects the internal world and interprets to the inner mind what it thinks of it as....at the same time...it projects the very though you are thinking and makes it come alive on the screen that is your external atmosphere...this world u live in...so we have to be careful waaht we think, write, wish for...feel...
You are in India....you should know more of this than most...India ...land of siddis....super-powers and flying carpets:)

[Ambereen]

wow ... thanks for the motivation ... With this I think I can possibly script a Bollywood Flick with all song dance and melodrama ...:)

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

Bollywood movies are the ones that keep up our spirits be it in sad, bad or good times.
Your Madhuri dix was a light from the heavens, and now her sister katrina kaif....i know most pretty women dont like katrina or priyanka chopra for that matter....but most men dont like shah rookk and salman too...well it just builds the audience and the desire to act like them...
and well...lol dont forget the item number too...in your movie.
In fact its been going on in my mind...to make a movie with a samll digitla camera....but even relatives who have been chosen to act ask....how much money i will give....guess...i will make it fully animated and keep the money for me:)
Movie "ek alien ki kahani" now feauturing in Mind-Multiplex...all over. bookings open. :)

[Ambereen]

Lol... I am sure its goiing to be super hit ... Housefull and all ... And dont forget the sequel ala KRISH...

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

Koiiii mill gayaaa....jadoooooooooooooooooooooo

[Monster ^.^]

Scary! Hahaha! I hope I don't get to see something like that in our house!

[Night]

...I believe...=)