False Pretenses

Vvn Bash never expected that he was always watching her and how much he cared for her.

            I stared at the unfamiliar surrounding, filled with unfamiliar people as they jostled against each other. Whether they were happy or a little bit too drunk I wasn’t too sure. I was only an outsider, a decoration even. But I am here so now all I can do is smile slightly as the strangers continued to greet me, although most of them would rather stay away from me. How did that one guy describe me as again? Eerie? I guess I couldn’t complain. All I did was shrug silently; I couldn’t say they were wrong. I was silent most of the time even though this should be a joyous occasion for me. Still, I ignored the partying and celebrating people and just observed them silently, staring at them with my piercing dark brown eyes. I frowned slightly when I realized that I was so out of place. This area was littered with people at the age of 18 to 20, while I, a little 14 year old, stood in the corner of the stuffy building just wishing for the end. I continued to play with the edge of my shorts uncomfortably. My cousin, Metric, wanted me to represent her as her manager properly by dressing nicely. So as out of place as I was, I stood there in my flimsy white halter and black shorts, shuffling my feet unsteadily not used to the black boots Metric gave me.

            I sighed exasperatedly. Why did Metric have to make me her manager? It was so sudden that I thought she was joking. Everything that led to my current situation was all a blur. Metric’s friend, Irene, had wanted Metric, who was an amazing singer, to try out for the position as the lead singer of her friend’s band. I smirked slightly as I remembered Metric’s nervous and jittery expression. Even though she looked like she was about to faint, she managed to pull through. Of course she made it, just as I thought she would. Still, the red-head had never been so happy as she beamed at me, her captivating hazel eyes gleaming with happiness. She was finally doing the one thing she was really passionate about, singing, and the people in the band were nice and welcoming. Metric became accustomed to them and we both would go to her band practices on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

The days passed by quickly and we were both pretty happy, although Metric seemed more ecstatic than I was. It was nice to get out of the house more, but the feeling of desolation kept creeping up and I found that it was harder for me to enjoy the frequent band practices. Whenever I was there I couldn’t help but remember my ex-friend, Alex. She and I are both singers and we worked on songs together, but things came up and Diana, someone who I hated more than life itself, kept interfering. Alex couldn’t make a choice between Diana and me, so instead I made the decision for her and left of my own free will. She seemed okay with it, probably not even realizing the many tears I had shed. I realize that it was childish to do such a thing, but it was really hard to put up with Diana, especially when she was always trying to push me down. It hurt, so I felt like I had no choice but to leave, even though it really was painful to do so. But I continued on and tried to be happy, though the familiar feeling kept coming back and I felt that it was becoming increasingly hard to smile. For Metric and the band’s sake, I persevered and would only shed tears when I was alone. I wanted Metric to be happy, and if that meant that I had to continue to pretend that I was happy, then I'll be happy to do so. She is my precious cousin.

Metric deemed me as her manager, but she never gave me an explanation. One day, I managed to get her to tell me and she just said that as a singer, I would understand the feeling more. Not to mention we knew each other for 5 years already. When she mentioned singing I felt sick. Recently I stopped singing, I was too scared that singing might expose my weaknesses again, so I just stopped completely and chose to focus on Metric and the band. Still, the desire to sing was there. Sadly, I’ve already stopped opening up to others. I don’t want to get hurt again, Alex was the last straw. Ignoring and running away from the pain would make my life a whole lot easier. I sighed and took a deep breath to hold back the tears that threatened to spill, it was becoming too much.

Regardless of my conflicting emotions, the practices continued. Each day the band would get better and better. Metric was also more comfortable with singing in front of them. It continued like that, until finally the leader of the band and drummer, Antoine, got them a gig. That’s how I, Vvn Bash, landed myself in this sticky situation. After the performance, which was a complete success, the band members were partying with their friends. I don’t like crowded places so I just stood in a corner.

I scanned the crowd, looking for Metric. Hopefully she didn’t get into too much trouble. It felt weird that I worried about her so much seeing as how I’m 3 years younger than her, but she is pretty ditzy and clumsy so I couldn’t help it. I spotted her dancing flamboyantly with Irene. They seemed to be having too much fun and my current depressed state would only ruin their time.

I spotted Darius a little ways ahead. He was just sitting there and hanging out with James. The two men have to be some of the kindest people I know. Darius was the guitarist and keyboardist, he is quiet and calm but at the same time he has a great sense of humor. He is tall and bulky with a buzz cut and a slight mustache, which did make him a little intimidating, I admit. James, the more out-going one and the second guitarist, was humoring nearby people with another one of his odd stories. His eyes gleamed mischievously behind his square-cut glasses, his light blonde hair growing out a bit more than usual. I sighed again; I didn’t want to burden them. Not to mention, as nice as they are I was never really that close to them. We only joked around slightly but it was Metric that they were more focused on.

There was only one more person that I haven’t seen yet, Antoine, the drummer. He is a very talented person, seeing as how he could play every instrument in the band. Even though he seems to have a happy-go-lucky personality, I can see more to him. He is very scrawny, but everyone knew how strong he could be if you angered him. I flinched slightly remembering one of his stories about his fight with a guitarist from his previous band. He’s kind though and isn't usually prone to those angry outbursts.

All of a sudden, I saw a shadow that was slowly approaching me. I strained my eyes to make out who it was. The person seemed to be a male but it was too dark to see his face. I inwardly cursed the dim lighting and my bad eyesight. I was only able to recognize the person when they were a couple feet away from me. Antoine smirked, his eyes filled with mirth. I stared back at him, bemused. I wasn’t really close with anyone from the band and none of them really made any effort to talk to me, so his presence took me by surprise.

“Why so lonely? Aren’t you going to keep an eye on Metric?” he asked jokingly, but I can see that he was slightly worried that I was here all alone. I didn’t like how protective he was being, it was too weird.

I smirked back challengingly, “Even managers need a break right? Or do I have to work 24/7? If so, I swear I quit,” I said, holding up my hand in mock surrender.

He laughed but then his expression turned serious, “Very funny, but really why are you here by yourself? It isn’t safe for a girl your age to be here alone. Who knows what could happen to you?”

I scoffed, “Nothing will happen I’ll be fine, and you guys were the ones that left me here anyways. Just go back with the others I’m sure they’re missing you,” I turned around and pretended to be busy looking at something.

Antoine in turn raised his brow and gave me a skeptical look but sighed in defeat, “No I think I’ll just stay here. I’m sure you’ll be able to keep me entertained and last time I checked the others aren’t looking for me,” he gestured towards Metric and Irene who were still dancing, and to Darius and James who seemed to be enjoying themselves. He settled himself right next to me despite my heated glare. Couldn’t he tell that I wanted to be alone? The atmosphere around us was awkward and a bit tense. None of us made the first move to talk, seeing as how it would be our first true conversation. I looked over at him curiously. His usual smile wasn’t present and he looked like he was he was in deep though. Just like I thought, there was more to him then his usual happy self that I always saw during practice. A frown made its way on his face as he turned to look at me. “You know the band likes to think of themselves as a family, so you don’t have to keep doing this,” he stated this as though it was a common fact.

I tilted my head and flashed him one of my best fake smiles, “What do you mean? I don’t have to keep doing what?”

He sighed, "You’re always trying to act so happy but you think I don’t notice it? I mean the other band members might not but I do. You don’t have to continue forcing yourself to smile, like what you’re doing right now. None of us would treat you any differently, we won’t judge you. Stop trying to push us away.”

My expression darkened as I looked at him blankly, “What do you know?” his eyes widened slightly, this was the first time he’s ever seen me like this. “What do you know about me? You don’t know anything. You don’t know the things I’ve been through,” I trailed off, as tears began making their way down my face. I was just starting to forget about it. I managed to go by this far without facing it. Who does he think he is to tell me what to do? I knew that my anger was taking control of me and my actions. He didn't deserve any of this, but I couldn't help it. How can he sit there and try to act like he knew me?

He grabbed me by the shoulders roughly and slammed me into the wall behind us, the sudden movement cutting off my trail of thought. Any other girl would start freaking out, but it’s not the same with me. I looked at rest of the crowd. No one seemed to notice anything, they probably just thought it was another couple making-out or something. I cringed at the thought.

“You say all that like it’s my fault,” he whispered lowly. He was covering his face with his hair and I had trouble making sense of his expression. He looked angry but there was also something else, something that I couldn’t make out and that threw me off, maybe even scared me. I pride myself in my skill of reading people but at this moment I didn’t know what he was thinking or feeling. I felt a chill run down my spine. “It’s not my fault that you don’t open up to people. You keep yourself so heavily guarded that no one can possibly know what’s going through your head. You blame me for not knowing anything about you? Why don’t you blame yourself for once? Can’t you understand that I do want to know you?” he breathed down my neck and I shivered. No, this is all wrong. What does he think he’s doing? Why is he getting so close to me?

I bit my lip nervously, “Why are you acting like this? Do you seriously want to get yourself thrown into jail? I mean, you're acting like a pedophile,” I joked slightly but I couldn’t stop my voice from shaking. “And what do you mean by you want to know me? None of the band members really try to talk to me.”

“Don’t you get it? You’re a mystery. You’re always there and always smiling, so much that I was convinced for a while, but that’s not it is it? What is it that you’re hiding? What could be so bad? I’ve never met someone that interested me this much in my whole life. I want to be the one to solve the mystery. I was always watching you during practice, you know? So much that I’ve gotten to know your habits, good and bad,” he whispered in my ear, tightening his grip on my shoulders to an almost painful level. “You puzzle me so much that it’s almost shocking. I never expected this from a kid.”

            “Stop it,” I whispered softly, “you’re drunk. You should leave maybe calm down, you always did have a bad drinking habit right? Go find Darius or something, but please leave me alone.”

            “Hm? Why are you being so cold? I think I want to stay a bit longer,” he whispered menacingly, and then did something unbelievable. He leaned down and planted a kiss on my lips. I whimpered helplessly. Why was he doing this? He had no interest in me. Why is he playing with me like this?

            He continued. Each second passed by like an eternity. I couldn’t do anything, I tried to fight back but he was too strong. He continued kissing me until he began to move down to my neck. I hissed in pain as he bit my neck, hard. I knew it was going to leave a mark and silently prayed that no one would find out. "You're mine now, Vvn," a low growl rumbled through his chest.

            This scene was all to familiar to me. Bound and helpless, that’s how I’ve felt my whole life, so to not show my weakness, I created an impenetrable wall. I always made sure to not let it crumble. Still this feeling reminded me too much of my past, and it was slowly destroying me. By now I couldn’t take it anymore and let my tears slide down my face freely. Antoine probably noticed and looked up at me. My eyes were closed in pain as tears continued to stain my face. He seemed to snap out of it.

            He leaned his forehead on mine gently. I felt his breath on my face and finally opened my eyes to meet his. His eyes were less angry but there was still that weird look in his eyes that I couldn’t place. His light brown eyes closed. Antoine looked a lot calmer than before and I let myself relax a bit in his grip.

            “I’m sorry," then he fell limp in my arms, his black hair tickling my nose lightly. I was still in shock...I couldn't move.

Author's Note

Ah, I can't believe I actually posted this. I wrote this a year or two ago and I was actually proud of how it turned out. It was supposed to be a whole complete story, but I never got to it. I did edit a lot of this story just tonight though because I realized that there were some parts that weren't that great. Maybe this might inspire me to write more of this story? I do like it a lot, I just don't know where I want it to go from here. Well, we'll see if I find my inspiration for this or not.

Reviews

[Crown of Laurel]

First of all, happy birthday, Nura. ^_^ Glad to see you actually got the courage to post. I can see the places where you changed it up, and it definitely made it much less awkward sounding.

Overall, as I've said before, I do like this story and I'd really want you to continue it. The plot itself is quite dramatic and Vvn sounds sort of like a depressed wreck, but at that time, it makes sense. Just remember that not everyone is going to understand the background behind that, so maybe just find ways to tone it down in future chapters to make her slightly more likeable. Not saying she's not, but I just think that it's easier to like a character when they're not so depressed and bitter towards life. You can intensify it as you go on writing, which I really hope you do, but remember, this is only chapter 1.

A few things I would maybe fix... Not much, actually. Just a few capitalization errors (only one I think...?) and some punctuation problems, but nothing major. And try to avoid using words twice in one sentence because it sounds awkward. (ex. "His eyes were less angry but there was still that weird look in his eyes that I couldn't place.") I know you were probably tired when you wrote this, but just double check for little things like that. Instead of using "eyes" twice, just replace the second one with "them". (His eyes were less angry but there was still that weird look in THEM that I couldn't place.)

Other than that, that's about it. And honest to God, I really do hope you continue writing this, because you had some really awesome plot ideas the last time I checked. I really want to see which way you decide to turn this story.