From a Santa's disbeliever

A letter I wrote to Santa a couple years ago

Dear Santa,


This is the very first letter I have ever written for you. In the past 18 years, I have never asked for even a single of your generous presents every time Christmas came. I now beg for your forgiveness as I once was one among those who do not have any belief in your existence, yet I am still putting these words together as an expression of my fault’s confession. It really makes me feel awkward writing a letter to Santa at the age of 18, yet I am still doing it anyway. The purpose for this letter is not to ask you for any of the toys that most the kids often ask, but to ask for a motivation to push me forward as it is more than enough for a young adult like me.

Being a good person by attaining the best of all of my obligations as a hard-working student, a polite son and trustworthy friend is really a difficult task. However, as parents often say to their children, fulfilling all of their obligations as who they are is a way to make them better as citizens for the society they are and will be living in. I do believe that is true, but is it true for me? In this world, competitions happen everywhere, and in order to be able to stand out among many others, working hard is unavoidable, but what about those working hard but having nothing in return. Is the world rejecting them? Or simply just because the path of life they are walking on is just not right for them? I have not yet been able to find the satisfying answer for myself. I have been trying to work as hard as I can for many years, yet I still feel like lost, wasted and having no direction to be heading toward. Even now, when I have already turned 18, there is still no specific goal for me to reach, I am just floating freely along with the current of time and have no idea where it is taking me. There are many people who are just like me out there, and many have successfully acquired their own goals and moving forward, while the others just do not know what to do and eventually being sunken deep down into the great hole of regrets. I do not want to be part of that, I want to have my own life, my own goals and destination. 

These are all the words I have really wanted to say to someone, and I have never imagined that someone would someday be you, Santa. Upon reading this letter from a depressed young man, you will surely realize that not everyone who is writing letters to Santa has their hope raised high with a happy expression. I wish you the best Christmas ever. Thank you for taking your precious time to read this letter.

From a Santa’s disbeliever,