Forgiving

How does it feel like of having to hold a grudge against someone? What is the feeling of confronting people we don’t like every day? That kind of feeling really does get us to feel uncomfortable, irritating, and also makes our life much less enjoyable. Have you ever wondered why awful things just keep happen between people, causing chaos in their relationship? Perhaps it all came from just one minor issue that shouldn’t have been paid much attention to, which then was enlarged and fed with bitterness and vindictiveness of people till it was fully grown into a serious problem, causing people to hold endless grudges against one another. If only such things do not exist in this world, humanity’s bonds among people will assuredly be strengthened without too many of regretful incidents exist. If only the idea of forgiving with compassion and love have been spread widely through this modern society, leading people to walk on the right path of morality. There will definitely be times when people run into this kind of situation, when they feel like seeking one’s forgiveness seems to be impossible, or to give away their hatred to forgive someone seems to be really challenging. That is the reason why the learning of forgiving is essential to our life, because forgiving isn't just about giving a gift to others, but also to give the very same gift to ourselves. 

Resentments are often born from one’s fault in treating other people with a cruel way of saying sensitive things, or unacceptable actions that trigger one’s angers, embarrassments or frustrations. There are many causes of resentments between people to one another, or sometimes even an entire family to another family. However, it is really important to keep in mind that the idea of perfectness does not really exist within any of us. No one is perfect, thus learning how to forgive upon receiving one’s confession is an essential trait people must have, not for showing people how generous they are, but for not having to carry the burden of uneasiness and bitterness in life for such a long time that it eventually becomes impossible to be put down. In life, mistakes can be made, cruel words can be said, and whether they are made accidentally or on purpose or not, it all comes from the fact that people cannot pretend to be perfect. People sometimes do things they shouldn’t do, yet their actions can sometimes be used to reflect our own actions to others. We also aren’t perfect in anyway, and we do need to be forgiven many times in our lives, so why shouldn’t we forgive others in a way that can benefit both sides. We can gain experience by watching others’ mistakes being made and become closer to see through our faults in life. In other words, forgiven others is another way to forgive ourselves. Forgive people for what they did wrong to you, and forgive yourself for what you have done wrong in life. 

To maintain a strong relationship between family members, friends or to be more general, between people, is a difficult task. Learning how to forgive is part of the whole process in strengthening the bonds between us and surrounding people. Forgiving sounds simple yet is very important, hard to learn and practice. People tend to be selfish when it comes to their own benefits, especially when something is taken away from them, against their will, by someone else. We all share that very same characteristic, accusing others for our own unforgettable suffers, keep feeding those bitterness with our metal energy day after day, thus it becomes harder to forgive. From such a small issue can be grown into a huge unsolved problem, breaking apart the relationship between people, causing separations. But once people have learned how to forgive, it does seem to be doable. Forgiving others and allow others to forgive us, it is a truly efficient way of maintain relationships, increase trustfulness between people. Then when it comes to hard times, people who have learned how to forgive will be the first ones to open up their hands to help. Imagine how it will be like when you see someone you hate is in danger, how hard will it be to lend them your help without forgiving them for their mistakes? We cannot live without others, and so can they live without us? 

It has been quite a long time since that lesson, the lesson in my humanity class five years ago. My teacher back then was the most respected one among my school for his famous, practical teaching based on ancient Chinese philosophy. He used to teach humanity for 8th graders, and I was once one of his students. The very first lesson of the year, perhaps the most unforgettable and valuable one of all, was about forgiving. I still remember my teacher coming to class with both of his hands holding two large bags of potatoes. He then gave each of his students, including me, a plastic bag, and instructed us to pick one potato to represent for each person we hated or refused to forgive and write their names on the potatoes. The most important rule was that we had to carry the bags with us everywhere, sleep with it, take showers with it and pretty much do everything along with the bag of potatoes for that whole week. A couple of days passed, the bags were being filled with potatoes quickly and were getting really heavy. Those bags had become seriously difficult to carry around, and by the sixth day of that week, almost all of the potatoes had been deteriorated and started to generate awful and nasty smells. Such a great lesson to reflect what is it like to carry our hatred and pain with us everywhere. Let everything go and throw away those decayed, smelly and nasty potatoes, just like letting our resentments go and start forgiving others.