Dear Mother

A daughter's letter to her mother who has failed time and time again to support her own daughter in times of struggle

Dear Mother,

I try to tell you that I’m miserable,

That I’m overwhelmed,

But you don’t get it.

Because in your eyes I’m always complaining,

In your eyes my feelings aren’t valid.

Whenever I try to open up to you,

You shut me down

And I end up feeling worse.

Because you always say it’s my fault,

It’s my fault that I feel helpless because I’m overreacting.

Well I’m sorry that my PTSD makes me “overreact” to certain situations.

I’m sorry that I can’t just not have panic attacks.

I’m sorry that I can’t stop thinking about what’s bothering me.

I’m sorry that no matter how much I want these thoughts and feelings out of my head,

They continue to haunt me because my goddamn brain is so fucked up.

Because obviously you think something is wrong with me,

Since you never fail to correct every little thing I do that doesn’t fit your idea of perfection.

Even when I’m upset,

You never held back your ridicule,

Because I make such “stupid” mistakes

That you don’t have enough sympathy for me to comfort me in difficult times.

 

So I stay quiet,

I suffer in silence.

But even after all the times you shut me down,

Every once in a while I still try to open up

Because you’re my mother,

Your job is to help me,

But you continue to fail to do just that,

All you manage to do is push me farther away.

So I’ve given up trying to reach you,

I’ve given up confiding in you,

Because my anxiety,

My depression,

My PTSD,

Are things you will only make worse,

With your insensitive comments and lectures.

Author's Note

Please leave compliments and feedback so that I know I'm getting the right message across!

Reviews

[Zayir]

Moving work. I am sorry that you have to go through this. Mother's are supposed to help you and nurture you. You will find someone who you can confide in, who you can discuss all your struggles with. I know it sucks having a family member like that where you just don't want to talk with them (I despise my father but for different reasons). Putting your emotions on paper like this shows everyone that you have matured, you don't need your mother's emotional support. You have yourself and you seem to be doing well. You have friends here to vent to. I wish you well with your anxiety, depression and PTSD. It will get better with time.

Much Love

[Amaya]

Thank you for your support and I'm glad you read my poem :)