The Overdue Reaction

This is a poem about a young girl's reaction when she realizes she was sexually assaulted

Picture this:

A young girl, only 15

So wrapped up in school, her friends, and her family

She forgot to think about herself.

 

She spent the late hours of the night searching for answers to the question that had been on her mind all week.

Was it rape?

She didn’t want to think about that,

She didn’t want to answer that,

But she couldn’t help it.

And then she found her answer.

Another woman had gone through the same thing

But as an adult.

The young girl began to cry.

After almost 3 months it all hit her,

She finally realized what had actually happened to her.

She cried for hours, not knowing what to do.

 

She replayed that day in her mind.

She enjoyed some parts,

But that’s not what first came to mind.

She remembered telling him she was tired,

She remembered telling him to stop doing something

She remembered he grabbed her wrist

She remembered he said it was okay and that he would just do it less

She remembered he didn’t stop completely until she had said stop way too many times.

She was too tired to protest,

And it wasn’t like she completely opposed what he was doing,

So she simply let it happen,

But the whole time she was waiting for it to be over.

 

She had read books about rape victims before,

She was well educated on the topic,

She never wanted to have to have to go through something like that,

But she did

And she blamed herself for what happened to her.

She could have just said no.

Because she didn’t want to have sex that day,

Even though they had done it before.

But she didn’t say anything

Until it was too late.

 

She never properly reacted,

She had so many other things going on at the time, she never thought about it in depth.  

So she was overwhelmed with emotions the night she finally reacted to being violated.

She had been depressed all week with flashbacks of that day creeping into her mind.

She hadn’t been able to cry because she didn’t know why she wanted to cry.

But the night when it hit her she cried enough for the entire week.

She felt used,

Stupid,

Worthless,

Alone.

 

It was 1 in the morning and she was emotionally exhausted,

So she lay in bed trying to fall asleep

But then she realized she was laying in the exact same spot on her bed where he had…

She had a panic attack.

She couldn’t breathe,

Tears were streaming down her face and she had no control over them,

She felt incredibly uncomfortable,

So she jumped out of her bed.

She realized she couldn’t sleep in her bed that night

So she slept in another bed down the hall from her room,

While her dog curled up against her and stayed by her side through the night.

Author's Note

This is my first thing piece of writing, so please leave compliments and feedback so that I know I'm getting the right message across!

Reviews

[...]

For me this stanzas are,too long. I will be put more empty space in between. It will give me more time to think about each line. But that's just me and at past I also written long stanzas. Your theme is very hard subject but I think it's good you out here. Cause people here not too much write about this, kind of stuff here,too much often. I like how you say in honest straight words what happened. How she feels her pain. Frustrations, inner anger and feelings of hopelessness. But like also at my poem you put some hope on the end. Poem itself feels very realistic. I am glad I can read your writing. By the way English is not my first language. So if my sentences sounds awkward sorry about it.

[Zayir]

Part of our brain is trying to forget about it, trying to find a way to explain it but you conveyed that emotion well. I'm glad you read another woman's story, stories like yours help other women come out, like it did with you. Thank you for telling your story

Much Love

[Amaya]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful review, I'm glad my writing is showing exactly what I wanted it to :)