Ode to a dear land

its dedicated to my school. St. Peters. It is quite old. estbld in 1846

ode to a dear land

when the winds had sublimed,
the majesty of a wonder
and the sands of time,
had turned it older
to umask upon, a dead heav'n,
of the broken ropes,
of the galleries ravin'd
full of wailing hopes
who that cried through the years,
ages that rolled o'er its gate.
For they had the tears
cursing none, none but fate.
O' if one thinks of the prestige passed
that splendor, granduer and tints.
The fervour in past
wattery eyens would sure be,
and hairs would be etched off
upon the skins of you and me
excuse many, may taken of!
----Amar laksh

Reviews

[Pragya Saxena]

So heavy Words man...
Concept is nyc! :)

[critic h]

amazing well said

the lines makes my heart toss up and down with the flow of the words

style of writing is commentable and it portrays a hallucination of the school as i skim through the poem

d title fits in the hole like g jigsaw puzzle

well done

[critic h]

amazing well said

the lines makes my heart toss up and down with the flow of the words

style of writing is commentable and it portrays a hallucination of the school as i skim through the poem

[amarlaksh]

thank u but hallucination didnt u meant imagery?

[Tarry Franck]

I agree with William Keepers - very thought provoking. Flowed quite well also! Good job

[william keepers]

Very interesting Amar, sounds like your experience was bitter-sweet. However, is this not what makes for the most cherishable experiences? Very thought provoking!

[Alexa Tasch]

A very nice flow and feel in this piece. Its interesting how you found inspiration in your school when most people hate theirs. Overall I really enjoyed it!

[amarlaksh]

Thanks Alexa

[Alexa Tasch]

You're welcome!

[Writer *78*]

Impressive work this takes you back to a time where things were appreicated.

[Annabelle Lee]

i loved the rhyme. the flow was exquisite. magic

[Salar Majak]

you are amazing, your personality flows in this peice, great, really great, i'm in love with it beautifully, nice job

[amarlaksh]

thank u very much for your appreciation

[Leslie Philibert]

I like this, it is a well written tribute to your school, not sure what eyens and pf are, so I would work this over, and sands of time is a real cliche. So a good write that needs some work.