Girl on ganges bank

i consider it to be one of my finest, hope you would think the same

At hest of the lady’s mirth,
Jocund she raised,
Waif and derelict of birth,
Bitter trails many paved.
Every dawn she cheered.
Moaned on each night,
Common with the tears,
Of such a poor plight,
Eluding the crank,
Went to her kin,
A cow on Ganges’s bank,
Was all she had win,
Extricating the cow,
Swirling soft hands at her plea,
By the unusual bow,
Bathed her thoroughly she.
Gloomy then tied her,
To a small shaft,
Went then to work,
Held the oars and the raft,
An aged aunt sans time,
Her raft was so,
Sat in to start a scenic rhyme
And praised in to every hoe,
Austral she sailed,
To the awry ghats,
With biers that laid,
On flowery rafts,
Next crossed her path,
To look for fare,
Found one, kept his troth,
Fixed and gave others a glare.
Oaring around the Ganges,
With flowers in plenty,
And garbage under bridges,
Sailed she in fashion; hefty,
Hurry to the next one,
And for the dirt too,
Up and down in her fun,
Did business in the summer loo,
Thus back came wealthier,
To her cow, to the fields,
With wit some healthier,
And wholesome yields,
Showed she her savings,
A rupee and a two,
By her called parents;
Found none but a shoe.
In the open lawn,
Battered her to ground, the father,
With his shoes on,
Gave as a butcher rather,
Her bones cracked lie’,
Her blood gushed out,
But came nay a cry!
Came nay a shout!
--------------Amar laksh

Reviews

[DrD]

Amar, I flew to New Delhi enroute to Katmandu and stayed a while to see something of the culture. I visited Pakistan and Afghanistan and found it all fascinating as it can only be seen by someone who doesn't need to live there. What you describe is not fiction, rather events far too common and you have captured it with amazing grace and acceptance. I admire your work and you. Thank you.

[amarlaksh]

Thank you very much sir!! I am really grateful for your review sir.!

[Jo March]

Very very lovely, I envy how articulate you are :)

[william keepers]

I love the way this flows so smoothly anf the way you make the girl come alive. Do we not root for her knowing she stayed true by returning to share the wealth? So devastating...
You have an amazing gift for expression Amar and the best thing is, the more you use it the better it gets. Where you are is what it is, and though tragedys are far too common, someone needs to tell the story. You do it very well,

[amarlaksh]

thank you very much for your detailed review

[emmy bon]

nice one Amar and well done.

[Emberlorna]

This is very good I really like the way you write. It reminds me of a poem you would read from medieval times very hypnotic and intriguing :}

[The Fallen]

This is a very well written poem. Very descriptive , I loved it :)