adieu

it has got a vivid variety of layers

An old recluse had,
by the lakeside grown.
Sevenscores and a two took,
haven in his white tresses.
Of reek scent, had tenuity in form,
absurd face and tepid of skin,
rusty to talk, yet chivarlous walk.
With an ochre hat, on head apt.
Reticent he stood, in sylvan wood.
A snitch he was, of nature across,
the lake that lead, many more to dead
---amar laksh

Reviews

[DrD]

I enjoyed this but was also concerned about the word "snitch." Snitch is a modismo, coming out of prison jargon and I think it is out of place in the eloquence of all the words around it. I don't know how it could be replaced without reforming the entire line. Nonetheless, again I enjoyed the concept and the detail was excellent. I will visit you again soon.

[amarlaksh]

thank you sir.

[Salar Majak]

it has a taste of darkness, i love it and i love how it ends well done :)

[Pradeep Nair]

The depth... lies.. in
"Of reek scent, had tenuity in form,
absurd face and tepid of skin, "

[amarlaksh]

yes you got it right sir

[Sid]

Very nice piece, deep and intriguing you got me thinking with this write, great imagery too but like DrD said I don't feel too sure about the word "snitch" being used there...but otherwise a great poem!!

[amarlaksh]

thank you very much for your honest review

[Sid]

sure :)

[David Scott]

Well "layered" Amar. Your vocabulary is very good as well. I was pleased that a young writer from India could write so well. You let me think thru the ideas without spelling it out too much. Well done.

[Anu Biswas]

You have a unique writing style Amar! I like it!

[amarlaksh]

Thank you very much for your review!

[PP]

I believe this poem is extremely metaphorical... Who or What did you have in mind while you wrote this piece? Great work :)

[hogan]

I really like this, but for some reason the last line does not hold, not sure why, just my honest opion.

[Tarry Franck]

nicely done

[InsanityWriter]

Very nice. :) I love the rhyme scheme you did. ^_^ Excellent job!

[william keepers]

Yes, multiple layers of imagery indeed! A most unusual creature this is and but at the same time quite common no doubt. You describe him very nicely on the outside, but I am left confounded by him being a snitch. Ask yourself if you have got into his head deeply enough