To a smile

Running down the street,
For urgent a meet,
Spotted a child’s smile,
Stopped and thought a while.
In hot summer morn,
Was it cream or corn?
That stretched his mouth so wide.
With little white teeth tied.
What caused the chaste gleam?
Mystical, wild wild as a dream,
Not for reason or wit,
He did laugh a bit.
It was but for his,
Own self that is!
None malice was there,
And nothing to care,
No one to tame,
And not one for fame,
The smile that passed by,
Was none; but past my!
------- Amar laksh

Author's Note

another humble scribbling

Reviews

[Ina Waltz]

Your writing is great, but you should work on the arrangement. Maybe this is a personal preference, as I don't like punctuations in poems, but I feel like the flow would be nicer if you used a bit less of punctuations and separate some parts.
Once again, this isn't criticism towards your writing. Just trying to help! :D

[amarlaksh]

Thank you Ivana. I will look at those aspects rather carefully from next time onwards.

[Pragya Saxena]

Beautiful theme .... "thodi orr mehnat kar leta" :P
The poem could have been more good!

[Echezonachukwu Nduka]

You've done a great work here.First,I like your ryhme scheme which made your work even more poetic.However,I do not understand the second line,"running for urgent a meet".Again,try not to use punctuation marks where they aren't necessary.That way,you poem will flow on it's own.Nice write!.Bravo!.

[de_maruf]

fine

[Alex]

just wow

[Lunette Lariz]

I know that your theme is beautiful, but I didn't get that THAT MUCH. Nevertheless, I like your words. :)

[Aruna Iyer]

I ve seen the kind of smile u try to describe here...
Your words have brought back that child, the place and the smile to my mind...
thank you :)

[amarlaksh]

thank you :)

[emmy bon]

nice thought, the description would have been more clear if you had work more on the arrangement... and just like the other reviews, some punctuations really not necessary. keep writing Amar

[amarlaksh]

Thanks for the advice and i WILL keep writing :)

[Tarry Franck]

I enjoyed reading it and I must agree, the punctuation isn't always necessary and some can be done just don't go overboard with it. But lovely job.

[DrD]

This one, Amar, I feel needs working. The imagry is cloudy and the message is unclear. Some of the rhyming appears forced and that interrupts the flow we look for. Please rewrite this with more thought and selection.

[amarlaksh]

i feel it too that way. well thank you for an honest review sir

[Ohhhwillow]

I agree with the previous comment, however I think punctuation can work well in in and at points it does, sometimes it isn't necessary though! Other than this, we'll written man! Much appreciation. :)

[amarlaksh]

Thank you very much... sorry no punctuations :)