The baby conundrum

just read on

Ere a torrent of simpers
filthy,
a scab sat in chair small.
Shabby clothes, with limbs muddy,
a humid face and a yanky yawl.
With murderous eyes now and then.
Snared his pupil all around.
They adore, smile , and even bend,
to see him more, got to ground.
They say him cute and beautiful.
but oh i knew, and knew good!
What a waste he was, really ungraceful.
And where he stood!
To my brain if asked by,
should be sent with his age?
Certainly to somewhere far by,
to some zoo, circus or a cage.
And then we would be free
of this wicked trotter,
but what of me!
'play with uncle,boy' uttered his mother!
---- amar laksh

Author's Note

this is my first one,hence please ignore my grammar if possible and surely do comment on it please!!!!!

Reviews

[Akshay Rawal]

Nice one ......this is something thrilling....A new GoodRead of mine

[Abdul Aziz]

A little too dark for me, but exaggeration is never outdated in poetry! :D I liked reading this, except for the line "snared his pupil all around". It just doesn't seem right. Other than that, well written and gets your point across.

[Frieda P]

Dark overtures in this read, could go a number of places with it, muchly enjoyed your aphotic view here!

[amarlaksh]

Dark it is ... thanks for your detailed review Frieda :)

[Frieda P]

My pleasure amarlaksh :-)

[Sami Khalil]

I'm liking your style and poems...:)

[amarlaksh]

Thank u so much Sami, i hope you would continue to like 'em :)

[Sami Khalil]

I will...You are welcome...:)

[Pragya Saxena]

Amar.... haha :D
Dark , Grasping and funny ..
I bet some toddler was on your nerves when you wrote it! :P

[de_maruf]

fine

[TK]

Interesting poem! Dark and intriguing. Keep up the good work!

[Shubham's View]

Well that's a different perspective!! o.O
Very good work! Intriguing piece!

[Tarry Franck]

Admire this

[Emberlorna]

Very dark and griping :} You're very talented. I really like the lines

To my brain if asked by,
should be sent with his age?
Certainly to somewhere far by,
to some zoo, circus or a cage.

Amazing write!