to my favorite internet friend.

6/19/10.

dear justin,

when i first commented on your page
i never expected to be what we were.
i never expected to find someone like you.
i didn't know how to soothe your anxieties
or broken heart, and you didn't know how to
fly thousands of miles to wipe away the tears
that spilled when you called me your perfect sunset.
i never expected hours spent whispering
to each other through the night.
when you'd call me from hawaii
and i would stay up til 2am so you
could call me when it was 8pm there.
i told you my name was AJ and you
shortened it to just "j," and it's my
favorite nickname of all.
no one quite understands it but us.
and when you got home, a beautiful girl tried
to win your heart but we all knew it was mine.
what do you do, when your heart
resides half a world away?

in the end, we did nothing.
i did get to meet you.
hold you in my arms for just
a few short minutes.
spend a day looking at
your photography and babysitting.
i would've given you everything i had
if we only had the chance.
but that was then,
and now i am just happy to know
i always have someone to go to.
and that you do too.
whenever we get too stressed,
we're just a few airwaves away.
in the end, that's all i want.
not your heart, not your body.
just your existence.
it's love, in such a different way
than the beginning.
but i wouldn't have it any other way.

always,
j.