to my dreams.

day five of a thirty day letter writing challenge, to my dreams. 6/15/10.

my dearest, closest dreams -

well once you were about big cities,
getting the f**k out of here
and being a musician.
professional writer.
actress.
these were what i called "big dreams."

then, a drive to have a 9 to 5 job,
a desk job that let me go out with
a camera maybe, sometimes.
or maybe where i can professionally
learn secrets and keep them.
these were what i called "realistic dreams."

then, well, you came along.
and i got dreams of a brick house,
a wraparound porch with a picket fence.
maybe a kid or two or three with hair like mine
and your eyes, my smile and your laugh.
these were what i called "hopeful dreams."

and now, i dream about maybe
waking up in the morning, or maybe not.
hopefully making it out alive, one way or another.
for better or for worse.
now i dream about just taking enough breaths to stay alive.
this is what i call reality.

and right now, it's much better than you.