Post-Partum

My experience with post-partum

Post-Partum Depression

I remember the day I was leaving the hospital after having my 3^rd child Hailey, while waiting to be discharged I had started crying uncontrollably, I didn’t know why I was crying, and the nurse came in and said it was normal to be emotional after childbirth, so I thought ok ill be ok by tomorrow, Well I wasn’t okay,  the next day, or the next, and the days after was only getting worse. I remember not only sitting and crying, but it had got to the point where I couldn’t take care of my newborn, I wouldn’t hold her, And I remember in my mind thinking that my baby was dead, and I was so scared to look in her bassinet, because in my mind that was the only image, I seen. I remember the home nurse coming to my home and asking me if I had been having any signs of post-partum and I told her “No, I’m fine, Knowing I wasn’t, but I was scared to tell her, because I was scared people would think of me as a bad mom, or I would lose my baby. My mom would come stay with me and take care of my newborn until my husband came home from work and then he would take over. I was sinking deeper into the depression, and I couldn’t control my thoughts and as bad as I tried to shake them out they was getting worse. I was actually seeing in my mind me hurting my family, anyone that talked to me I would have thoughts of really hurting them, even at church, but when I started seeing myself hurting my baby and my other kids, I called the Dr and they seen me almost immediately. The Dr had said the same thing the nurse did it would go away it was normal. “NO, DR YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IM SCARED IM GOING TO HURT MY BABY, I NEED HELP PLEASE… He got me the next appointment to the mental health clinic, after a few weeks of going to the clinic, and a few different medicines they had me on and made me worse than what I was. My mom went with me to my appt., because something had to be done, the depression had almost completely took over my mind, I literally was going crazy trying to fight the thoughts I was having. So the counselor at the clinic suggested going into the Mental Health hospital for a little while. I went and at first I tried to leave but I knew I had to think about my baby , and myself because I was missing out on bonding with my baby. I was there 7 days and within that 7 days my medicine was being monitored. so they knew what was right for me, and I realized I wasn’t by myself, and that there was other mothers going through the same thing. It was the best thing I could have done and I am so glad I got the help I was needing… Post-Partum is a disease but it can be cured, if treated in time. If any new moms feel the least little bit of distance or sadness, call your Dr right away. Even if it takes raising your voice to be heard.

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Author's Note

first writing I hope I did it right this time