Forgotten Memories

I wrote this when I woke up in the middle of the night, it is filled with awkward grammar but after trying to edit it, I found I liked the original better to get the sentiment across...

A storm passed, but without a record,

No one recorded the date.

 

But she told someone, who didn’t write it down,

That a man, 12 years older, had complemented her,

And as the wind from the storm started to blow,

She apologized to her boyfriend, back at home.

 

A thousand miles away, when the wind shifted,

A sick wife was awoken by her husband to make tea,

And the rain poured down,

Without regret, or apology.

 

Even further away, a group of girls played volleyball in a field,

The wind blew-

And the ball got away, hitting an elderly woman’s walker,

As she made her exercise rounds,

And she slammed down her walker, shaking the ground,

And she shamed them in Mandarin, which they didn’t understand.

 

And back at the eye of the storm,

was the one who listened,

But never wrote it down.

Reviews

[Lorry]

A very visual journey of the unseeable wind on its journey and how it touches lives.
I like the style you chose and am grateful you took the time to record it for others to hear.
I got the feeling that this was a neutral observer write, where it could so easily slipped into negativity and that I feel adds more to your narrative.