Drowning in Poetry

Inspired by conversations with students

“Drowning in an ocean,

Or suffocating in the snow,

It’s all just water, in different forms,

But it can get you just the same.”

For weeks, a student wrote poems like this,

And another student was confused, and asked him,

 “Why do you keep writing about drowning”?             

The poet had had nothing to say.

I explained to student number 2, that maybe it’s a memory,

Or a metaphor for what he has experienced,

or what he is going through-

The poet responded,

“Yeah, Like all my problems,

Drowning in a river

That runs both ways,

And writing about it,

is how I come up for air". 

Reviews

[Labella]

I love how a conversation inspired such a wonderful write. I enjoyed this. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I think most of us poets come up for air by writing...and that is a good thing.
It helps us write away from doing something drastic to ourselves.
j.

[K. Louis]

I like this little piece, and just because you're retelling parts doesn't make it not poetry. The ending is striking. The thoughts of writing to come up for air. I like the title, fitting.

[Amanda Reynolds]

Thank you for thoughts and especially your comment about the ending;)

[JayG]

So I’m confused. You took this:
- - - - - - - - - -
“Drowning in an ocean,
Or suffocating in the snow,
It’s all just water, in different forms,
But it can get you just the same.”

For weeks, a student wrote poems like this. Another student was confused, and asked him,
“Why do you keep writing about drowning”?

The poet had had nothing to say. I explained to student number 2, that maybe it’s a memory, or a metaphor for what he has experienced, or what he is going through.

The poet responded, “Yeah, Like all my problems, Drowning in a river, that runs both ways,
And writing about it, is how I come up for air".
- - - - - - - - - -
You broke it into short lines, and played with punctuation a bit. My confusion is: How in the pluperfect hells does that make a reported incident become a poem? There’s no attempt to create a rhythm with prosody, no poetic language used; just “This is what happened and what people said.”

[Amanda Reynolds]

Sorry if you didn't like it
but I just write-
if it doesn't follow all of the rules
and you don't want to call it poetry,
that's okay too.