Emotion

A boy from India (Himanshu Chandra) saw and liked my writings then asked me to help him finish his poem. This is the result 👇💃

I don't cry anymore, I bite my lips more
Controlling my emotions, deep and alone
Shivering soul of mine, dark and alone
Dripped my soul into yours

Eyes dripping, face showing Shawn mendes emotions
Every voice of yours echos in my mind
Still, you're a heart-throb
Soul dripping, face showing Shawn mendes emotions

I don't cry anymore, there's nothing new to cry for
You took everything with you when you walked out of the door
All that's left is an empty room with an old shirt on the floor
Stripped yourself from sores

Head spinning, it weighs like a hundred pounds
It's you i'm missing but you're nowhere to be found
Left me drowning and in the sea of tears i drowned
While you headed for shores.

Author's Note

Himanshu wrote the first 2 quartains and I wrote the last two 😊 give us your feedback ☺

Reviews

[ZakLeonRamsey]

This is a rather good pair effort from you and Himanshu Chandra, it seems you both knew how poetry was, and had great skills. This definitely proves it. Wow, I really like it. This is the first I've seen of its kind. Good job to both of you, if you are able to contact with Himanshu, tell him that he has done a good job. :)

[Amanda Moubarak]

Thank you so much! That means a lot ❤❤ sure i'll tell him and he will really appreciate it 😊

[ZakLeonRamsey]

Haha, haha.

[amit]

I loved it...both of your verses are good
And the way you started from the same phrase and wrote down your own thing ...it's amazing..😁😁
And also I love the way you write...keep writing..😊

[Amanda Moubarak]

Thank you so much :) that means a lot 😚

[SleeplessVolcano]

This has the feeling of a song......ever tried to add some music to it?
There is a bit of rap too, but the meter is out - if you get the syllable count 100%, this poem could be a rap part of a song :)

[Amanda Moubarak]

Great idea! Thanks :)

[Final-Karma]

This was full of imagery and a delight to read. It puts you in an inner trance. I enjoyed it a lot. What makes it even better is that it is duel written. The synergy is powerful. Just great!

[Amanda Moubarak]

Thank you so much !! That means a lot 😊😊

[lijoabrahamblog (Lijo A..]

Woow.. Its amazing.. So good use of words to share emotions within.. Will like to read more and more of your writings.. Keep writing..

[Amanda Moubarak]

Thank you so much for your kind words :) will do my best and hope you'll like what's yet to come ;)

[William Yasanari Harris]

For a joint effort, this is a good poem. It's amazing that both of you are on the same page. You definitely draw words and images deep from within yourself. Your introspection reminds me of a poet I knew college--forty some years ago. Like you, she had that ability to bear her naked emotions in the words of a poem. Keep writing; the more you express yourself the better you will get. Believe it or not, my creative writing teacher back in college suggested I give up being a writer and pursue a life in something else--obviously, I refused to let go of my dream to be a writer. Don't let go Amanda. You have a talent. PS: that girl I referenced eventually published a book of poetry.

[Amanda Moubarak]

Thank you so much. That means a lot. I'm honored that my humble writing reminded you of a professional writer. Maybe with time and a lot of effort we will both be able to publish too :) thank you for your encouragement and i'm glad that you didn't listen to that teacher of yours ;) keep pursuing your dream and never give up. 🙌🙌