My Love will be....

hmmmm.....

My love for you 
Will always be.
Maybe hidden
 Sometimes
But always there.

I'll compare my love for you 
With the sun at day
And with the moon at night.

No matter where you'll be
You will always be able to spot it.
Clouds can maybe cover it up
But it'll always be there
Right behind those clouds
No matter how wide they might be.

My love for you will be as eternal
As thoughts
As ideas
And will always be right there
But maybe concealed...

Author's Note

What do you think?

Reviews

[TheAdamBryant]

woooooo your poems are so great

[Amanda J. S.]

Thank you! ^^

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

I love it! A wonderful poem. Simply wonderful. Very positive and hopeful and enduring. It makes me think of a snippet of that old song by the Beatles... something about, "...hide your love away." ?? If I recall the lyrics correctly, it question or chastises someone for "hiding their love away." Perhaps humans do that. Is it intentional, unintentional, or both at certain times? If both, then what are the circumstances that compel one over the other?

[Amanda J. S.]

Hmm... I don't think I would ever conceal my love intentional unless I was to shy to show it :-)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

Well, there you have it... you've come up with a plausible answer for one of the situations: shyness. Good reply!

[Amanda J. S.]

Thank you ^^

[RYDER]

one of my fav. top class write

[Amanda J. S.]

Thank you, Ryder! ^^

[de_maruf]

emotional
i can't bear

[Amanda J. S.]

Why can't you bear it? ^^

[de_maruf]

it;s my prob

[Amanda J. S.]

which problem?

[de_maruf]

i was not emotional enough
but these days i am getting it more

[Amanda J. S.]

Well... I guess that's a good thing, right`?

[de_maruf]

yeah

[Isobella Rose]

Love it! Great job!

[Amanda J. S.]

Thank you! ^^

[Raven]

Edit- No matter how wide they'll might be.- That doesnt make sense- Should it be how wide THEY might be?
I love that last stanza.

[Amanda J. S.]

Nope... They'll is what I meant to write :-)
As in "No matter how wide they will might be" as in "no matter how wide the clouds will might be" :-)

[Raven]

that still doesnt make grammatical sense to me- do you mean will as in temperament/determination?

[Raven]

because if so, that would be their will, and they'll would not apply, as it is they will and if the usage is what I think it is, they'll still wont work. Can you please explain it better to me? Sorry.

[Amanda J. S.]

hmm...... it is written in future sense, so it would be as to say "My friends will might betray me." Just shortened to "My friends'll might betray me" Maybe it is informal, but it is correct (grammatically) :-)

[Raven]

so you are using 'will' in the emotional sense not as in 'it will happen'? Because I'm still fairly certain that's not correct.

[Raven]

Would love someone else's opinion. I might just be unable to see it.

[Amanda J. S.]

I think me are misunderstanding each other! ^^

[Raven]

probably. I just cant see how that makes grammatical sense. I think I understand what the intent of the line is, and the way you are trying to say it, but I dont think that usage of will can be converged with they.

[Amanda J. S.]

Okay :-)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

I have to agree with Raven. Given the context and the surrounding thoughts and words, it should read as Raven suggested. But, that's just my opinion. You are the author, Amanda. However, you may find the world of native English-speaking readers will find it off-putting (as they say.)

[Amanda J. S.]

Hmm... I'll try to change it.. If it's not right grammatically

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

Yes, that might be best. As written, the grammar changes the true (and I believe) implied meaning; given the surrounding context.

[Amanda J. S.]

how is it now?

[Raven]

Still a bit off: try this:

No matter where you'll be
You will always be able to spot it.
Clouds can maybe cover it up (creative license but some english critics would pick at the 'can maybe')
But it'll always be there
Right behind those clouds
No matter how wide they might be.

[Amanda J. S.]

Thank you!
(I have never really written in future tense before.. guess that's why I'm not perfect at it)

[Raven]

Its ok- I edit university level essays so I generally am just in the habit of picking up these things in other people's writing, and finding ways to fix it while maintaining the integrity/intent :) If only I bothered to edit mine.

[Amanda J. S.]

Yeah.. it is easy to edit others work! The though thing is to edit your own!
(That could actually be used as a metaphor for a lot of other things)

[Zachary_James]

I love this poem. Amanda great job

[Amanda J. S.]

Thank you very much! :-)
Have a nice day!^^

[Zachary_James]

Same to you to,
and your welcome.

[Falling Leaf.]

This is another good piece by Amanda. A lucky person to be receiving the love portrayed in this piece. My only concern is that "maybe" in the last line should be may be. Other than that, spectacular job.


Happy writing,
Savannah

[Amanda J. S.]

Thank you! I wrote this on my cellphone, so I think that's why :-)

[Amanda J. S.]

Nope.... It is meant to be maybe :-) as in: It is maybe concealed :-)

[Falling Leaf.]

Oh, okay! Yup I read it again and maybe sounds right. Well good write!

[Amanda J. S.]

Thank you! (again) :-)

[Falling Leaf.]

No trouble!

[Amanda J. S.]

:-)