Memories

About my ex-bestfriend.. We were like sisters from the time we were toddlers til a couple months ago.. Now it's over. Really emotional piece for me.. Hope you enjoy.

Since before I can remember,
We were always best friends,
Couldn't ever be separated,
People asked if we were twins.

Now we're so different,
From two separate worlds,
The only similarity,
Us both being girls.

Used to finish your sentences...
We were so much alike,
Now you don't care about me,
And the tears, I can't seem to fight.

We have so many memories,
Countless inside jokes,
I thought you cared about me, but,
When was the last time we spoke?

I'm tired of doing this,
Always being the nice one,
While you sit back, get drunk,
And continue having all the "fun".

I'm not apologizing again,
You don't deserve that much,
I'm just going to forget about you,
The one who betrayed my trust.

I didn't even do anything,
I have nothing to apologize for,
So get out of my mind, my life,
Before you end up ruining more.

When we were little,
We promised friends forever.
But where are we now?
Never speaking again, ever.

Now all we have are memories,
Not enjoyable anymore,
Ones I wish I were strong enough,
To just be able to ignore...

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

This is certainly unfortunate and rents itself toward a clearer message than I could possibly conjure up after reading this heart's tourniquet!! It's weird being a dude and also growing up with girls EVERYWHERE!! lol My comment would border on that of what would sound sexist to someone not open to things that are said in the general sense and not being so biased to their OWN points of view and what-not. But there is the consideration of when a girl is young enough to support her own weight and tries her hand at dance, she finds herself affecting things with purpose, such as relationships, posturing expressions to receive them back, connecting to things that are important to just her..... like her friends. My sister's friends were other sides of my sister when the mood was perfect to accept them. If one friend was a good listener and another one was inclined to shop "to forget", and my sister wanted to de-stress..... she would call the one who liked to listen and then maybe shop after!! : ) When those roles that they play are ever-changing in their OWN lives, a girl may still want to fall back on what started this "once pure" relationship, and finds fault within the means. A guy at any age just wants to be important to someone "different than what a girl would consider or read to be -love-", go out and de-stress by working out and getting "over it", and keeping certain feelings in. Keeping them in allows for time to adjust moods, rationalize, and give proper respect to another person's boundaries until they are needed or asked for. When we hold on and THEN those bonds are broken, we are left to stir without closure!! Your friends, from here to your ends, will play the same roles that were important to you as a child.... only they will be easier to be recognized, judged unfairly in their beginnings, and we will say that it is our "heart" that now makes these choices. I know different. Nothing is more connected to Mother Earth, emotions, and the chemicals that stir love in every living thing on Earth than that of a girl with a heart to share.......... like YOURS, Amanda!! Sorry about the length. I'll start throwing those your way, into your mail if you'd like. xoxo -Mark

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

I'm so sorry, I just now saw this Mark. And yes, the difference between guys and girls, when it comes to their views of friendship, are completely different. Yes, some girls are extremely emotional when it comes to such things, and they freak out and everything.. And then generally guys aren't as hurt, they don't react as much and just do what they can to get over it. The differences are quite different, it's kind of weird to think about. Anyways, I don't mind your long reviews at all, I love them (: sorry that we haven't talked in a while, I hope that everything has been going well with you.

[Patrick Henry]

You can take a hiatus of any length. Trust me!! You will never have to "catch up" and have it be of urgent matter. I love that you remember me and speak so very easy!! I love it!! Merry Christmas, to you, Amanda!! Take those memories that creates your joys, birthed curiosity, and strengthened your heart to welcome yet another soul like mine to be able to have the chance to share and enjoy what you offer up in poem and in a letter...... Stay safe and stay Amanda so we can enjoy you for an indefinite amount of time!! My heart to yours..... I'm sure your "fans" and friends would agree; we Love You!! xoxo -Mark

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Hahha, thank you Mark (: and of course I remember you, how could I forget you? And as for the speaking easy part, well, I'm not very shy, hahaha, I haven't met many strangers, I don't have a problem talking to people :P merry Christmas to you as well, Mark! Enjoy family or friends or just having time to yourself, whatever you're up to this year. I'm glad that you enjoy all my poems and comments and everything, I really am. Stay safe as well, hahahaa, and I'll try to stay myself, I don't really think I'll ever be able to be anything else :P and Mark, haha, you're the only one who has claimed to be a "fan" of mine, but thanks (: enjoy yourself!

[Annie29]

Had so many friends like this is junior/high school. Seems like we all got separated at one point in time. There's so many people in the world, remember that. I've found my 'other half'/'best friend' in so many people. That's the great thing about this world. You don't have to be reflections of one another to complete each other. In the end, everyone reunites. And continue laughing about 'old days' like they were 'yesterdays'.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you(: despite this horrible week, that actually made me feel better.

[MandaBear]

Sometimes friends grow apart. As horrible as it sounds it does happen as much as we try and try it just doesn't work. Some friends are better in the past to make way for new and better friends of the future. =) Great write! 100%

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Awww, thank you Amanda (:

[Annabelle Lee]

i had a friend like this, then i was this friend... we make mistakes and we learn from them. it sucks to lose a friend but keeping someone like that would suck even more

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Very true! Thank you.

[jimagain]

Drifting apart. Very eloquent but with a bite! Bittersweet but poignant memories. I enjoyed this.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you!

[Phillitup]

I felt like crying when I read this. It's so sad. Even sadder is the fact that I know exactly how you feel. Mine isn't nearly as long. Since I know you will understand, I will take a moment of my life and tell my story to you. In kindergarten in was pretty easy for me. I fit in and everyone loved me. People were my friends and I got along with everyone. Life was easy when I was in kindergarten. Life changes though and parents get new jobs. We moved from Missouri to Florida. I left my friends and the life I loved so much. In first grade, they put me in a separate class then my identical twin (my only friend at the time). I only truly made one friend in first grade. At the end of that year, things changed some more. The friend turned her back on me. We stopped talking, she didn't really care what I had to say anymore. In second grade, I started getting bullied. On the bus and in the classroom. I was best friends with all the people who are popular now and ignore me. The ones who don't remember that we used to be best friends. They are pulled together and neglect to look back. In third grade, same things. In fourth grade I started getting bullied to the extreme. I had even less friends and life was beginning to become a sad and harsh place. I didn't like going to school because there were so many inconsiderate people in my class. However, that was the year that I discovered my love of writing. In fifth grade the bullying and back-stabbing got worse. Cam died and my life changed forever. I have dealt with so many friends turning their backs on me and leaving me to drown when I needed them most. In middle school I made friends like me and now we are unstoppable. I was bullied a little last year but no one tries to hurt me now that they understand that my friends will stand in front of me like I will for them. I'm sorry you had to go through this. If you need to talk, message me. I love your poem. It's really sad. Thanks for sharing, sorry for venting about my life. Nicely and eloquently penned.
Best regards,
Dell

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

I'm guessing that Cam was your twin? I'm so sorry for your loss, by the way. I'm also sorry that I just now saw this, I don't know how I missed these two reviews, but I did :/

But wow, it sounds like you've definitely been through a lot. I've never moved in my life, I've always gone to the same school system and everything. There have been fights and arguments and the occasional loss of a friend, but nothing too bad. I've always had a group of friends who stuck with me, and then I had my friend who this poem is about, who is two years older than me. When her parents got divorced, we grew apart a little, but were still close. Then, when she first started high school last year, I think it really pulled us apart. I'll be alright though, it's just a part of my life that has been closed, and now I can replace her with best friends who genuinely care about me.

I don't mind you venting, hahha, I'm usually a pretty good listener (: if you ever need to talk, feel free to message me. Thanks for the review!

[Phillitup]

Nope, not my twin. It's hard to explain...you know. Every life has it's complications...that doesn't mean that we can't be happy when the moment presents itself, right? Thanks for actually reading my review!

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Oh, okay. And it's no problem, I read all reviews and usually reply to all of them, I just seem to have somehow missed this one :/

[Jordan's Back]

Friends Sometimes Grow apart, And Love sometimes diminishes, I am sorry you have to go through it, you make the reader feel the pain in this, Which is a good unique quality of a writer.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

I'll be alright with time. And thank you (:

[Euro]

I am sorry to hear this about your friend. I must imagine it is very difficult to get someone so important out of your life.
I do hope that this situation doesn't make you suffer in any way and if it does, I do wish that you find ways to overcome the pain.
Poetry has always been the perfect tool to release all those thoughts and emotions and this proves it.
-Penelope H.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you, and yes, it is difficult. It has caused a lot of pain, but I think that I am beginning to get through it. Poetry is definitely a good outlet for hurt as pain, I really felt better once I wrote this. Thanks again (:

[Euro]

You're very welcome

[CindyLu]

I don't think there's anyone who won't go through this sort of thing at some point in their lifetime. It's sad, how we make such friends, then they all get torn away by time it seems. This is very personal, I think, and very relatable. The feelings are real and strong. Great write, though I'm sorry about your friend :/

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Yes, and it is such a sad point in life, it's terrible that most people have to go through it :/ thank you though, and about my friend, well, I think that it's probably for the best, now I can focus on people who will truly be there for me.. I guess the saying is true, that it doesn't matter how long you've know the person, it matters how much they were actually there for you.. And I don't believe that she was.

[CindyLu]

Well it usually is for the best, like you said, because everyone needs to surround themselves with the kind of people who are going to be there for them. I always think about something my father told when I was little; everyone will ride with you in a limo, but you only want the people who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. It's a silly saying, but it's absolutely true, and it's good that you're finding the people who want to take the bus with you :)

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

That's very true though.. That's a saying that even a little girl would understand, but it'll always relate to people that you associate with, throughout your entire life.. It's a smart saying, I'm definitely going to keep that in mind(:

[CindyLu]

haha i'm glad :) My dad was always telling me smart little sayings like that, because he wanted me to be as prepared as I could be for anything that came along. I like being able to share them :)

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Yes, it sounds like he's a really smart guy(: and I'm glad you shared that one with me, thank you.

[CindyLu]

he was :) You're welcome

[Carson Scott]

This seemed like a very personal poem for you.
I could relate to this too... I had a friend I felt like was weighing me down, and when I tried to be the good friend he didn't want my help. Sometimes you have to let go of the things that hold you down, even if it's someone we care about. And it seems like that's what this poem was about, looking back on something you let go.
Anyways it was a great poem:)
Like the emotion behind it!

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you for the read and review. yes, this is the most personal poem that i have written. And what you said was very very true, I believe that that is a life lesson that many of us need to learn it. Also, I'm really glad you liked it(: