How Do I Know?

So, I'm not usually this sad about everything.. It's just not a very good night, and I needed to let out some feelings.. Now that I've written it, I feel a lot better. But please, no hate.

How do I know that one day,
The temporary gone
Won't be forever?

How do I know that one day,
My mistakes won't ruin
Our chances of being together?

How do I know that one day,
I won't hurt him so much
That he can't forgive me?

How do I know that one day,
He won't reconsider us
And choose to be free?

Thoughts spinning,
All around my head,
Wishing I could redo it,
Or wishing I was dead.

Then I couldn't hurt him,
Or make him upset again,
I couldn't mess things up,
Would he be happier then?

I just want what's best for him,
Even if it really hurts me,
I just want a happy life for him,
Even if it isn't me he needs.

Says that I make him happy,
That I'm the best thing in life,
Says he'll love me forever,
That he wants me to be his wife...

I hope that that is the truth,
And we get over these fights,
I hope that he'll always love me...
And I can stop crying at night.

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

This is so different than the "Without Him" poem!! What has happened in the last two weeks to cause this, Amanda? It sounds like he is saying what he THINKS you want to hear by saying words that usually coincide with "I Love You" and "you ARE my heart!" ......He's just saying it in the "younger" version by NOT knowing what to say to you. Do something that connects to WHY you are both together. If you find a sport or even something that you both get to compete at without the distraction of others, that might build character and allow feelings under the surface start to emerge!! No pros and cons list or shopping together, thinking that is "me" time!! lol It's not. Let him tell you what is in his head by wearing him down first with something that takes his mind off of what is puzzling him, and have that turn into YOU building him back up again..... a form of trust and showing your heart in a different light. xoxo -Mark

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Yes, I know, I've kinda been on a roller coaster of emotions lately :/ I know that he really means what he says, that he really loves me.. Just, whenever we get into fights or anything, my insecurity tends to shine and make me think about the worst stuff and doubt myself, doubt that anyone like him could ever love me.. Hahahahaha, but thank you for all of the ideas(: I think we're good now, it was just a very bad night with not much sleep.. I'm good now though, I believe.

[Patrick Henry]

Seriously, that is awesome news Amanda!! Very col!! xoxo -Mark

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Yes, I'm pretty happy myself(: thanks again Mark!

[hussain]

wonderful! Just imagining how wonderful it would be for someone to be be you!!

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

No, hahaha, being me is very awful sometimes. Thanks though! (:

[hussain]

And how beautiful will it be for someone to be loved by you, such break-up poem deserve no less a fervent and true love.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you so much (:

[Dream Mistress]

:)

[The Turk]

I am sorry about emotional roller coasters but they do happen. It happens when you are a teenager and everyone gets them. Couples always fight and sometimes they are very explosive but in most cases they work themselves out. Also you don't need to make him happy if you are miserable. There is a middle line between you being happy and him miserable and the same with the opposite. Like I said before everyone goes through these things and we just have to deal with them. I swear on the holy land of Turkey and everything else that it will get better. Maybe not right away but it will get better.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Hahahahha, thank you (: I think that we have gotten over the roller coaster/ fights for now. Hopefully forever, but I know we'll probably at least have some small fights in the future.. I'm confident that we can come out it stronger though, and happy (:

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

*out of it

Hahah, my bad.

[Erinne S.]

This was filled with pure, sad emotion. Beautifully done, even though it is on the sad side of the spectrum. I hope things have gotten better for you and you are filled with more happiness. Anyway, this poem is so well done and I don't think you need to worry about him leaving you. If he truly does, nothing you do could cause him to change his mind. I feel this way too sometimes when me and my finace get into an argument that is all my fault and I feel like I don't deserve his love for me, but in the end no one is perfect and evryone makes mistakes. True love looks pasts the flaws and mistakes and shines brightly no matter what. I think that's the type of relationship you have going here :) Keep your head up and keep smiling!

~Erinne

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you so much, Erinne (: whenever we get in a fight, and then we get over it and he forgives me, and then he'll tell me I'm perfect or whatever, and I'm like, do you not remember what happened yesterday (or whenever it happened)? And he'll be like "love bears no record of wrongs", that's his favorite thing to quote to me :P I'm sure that you and your fiancé have this type of relationship, at least it seems like it. Thanks for the thoughts, ideas, compliments, and advice! Hahahaa(:

[Erinne S.]

You are very welcome and yes, my fiance and I have a very similar relationship to that :)

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

That's really good!(: I'm glad!

[dunnia]

Hope everything works out...u seem to happy most of the time to be this down

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you! I think that him and I are better now, which I'm very happy about(:

[dunnia]

Glad to hear that hopefully it will always stay that way :)

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

I'm hoping the same!

[An owl on the moon]

Oh, precious poet... your words are filled with so many sadly moving questions... makes me just ache, but I know the poetry can bring such release... And there will be pain.. in the best of loves... I know you can overcome all the shadows.. be light for each other... Let everything that happens only melt you more into that beautiful one... Let it out... and then fill each other up again.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Thank you Craig, I'll keep that in mind(:

[An owl on the moon]

You bettah... or I might have to thump you on the head... :D

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Hahahahhaa, oh okay :P

[Yumi Lyra Sarazen]

This one made me worry,are you feeling alright now?

By the way,this poem is lovely...

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Yes, I think that I am alright now, thanks for your concern(: and for the review!

[Yumi Lyra Sarazen]

Great :)
and welcome (^u^)v

[Euro]

Aww, I'm sorry to know you're feeling this way. I do hope that you're feeling better. Fights always happen between couples, I am sure, but the importance of them is that the couple can hold on to each other no matter the arguments. Of course, I am conscious that arguments cause internal conflicts of security and/or guilt but they always go away and love stays.
I'm sorry if I sound kinda off topic but I am someone who has not experienced love first hand so I don't know exactly well how you're feeling. I just know this because of friends.
Again, I do hope you're feeling better and that things are well with your couple now.
Great poem to express your feelings,
-Penelope H.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

No, you weren't off topic, what you said was completely true. And yes, I am feeling better now, I think that him and I are good now(: and thank you!

[Euro]

Oh, I'm glad I wasn't of topic! I just sometimes feel I sound stupid while giving comments on personal issues like it is in this situation.
And of course, I'm glad that you two are good :)

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Hahahhaa, no, you didn't sound stupid at all :P I love to hear people's opinions on things(: &thanks, I am too!

[Lina Grey]

Suicide is not the answer. Especially if your main reason for it is so your significant other will be happier. Seriously, my boyfriend killed himself in August and I still haven't gotten over it. I'm not saying that you should leave things the way they are, because if this isn't working for you then you need to change it. It sounds to me like you still love him, but some things have happened and you're afraid you're hurting him somehow. But if he really says the things in the poem, you shouldn't really be worried. It's an awkward situation, I know, but you guys really just need to get past it, and let the beautiful relationship emerge. Talk about things, do things you both enjoy, be together but not exclusive. It'll work out.
Ranting aside, it's a beautifully written poem, and a very fluid vent of those depressing emotions. Great job.

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

I've never been the suicidal type, you don't have to worry about that, I'm fine. It was just a bad night and I had a lot of thoughts running through my head: writing them down, expressing my feelings, really helped me to feel better. I try not to be worried, but there's always the insecurity, the thought that I'm not good enough. I think we'll be able to get past it, I think we're stronger than this. Thank you for all of that(:

[Lina Grey]

oh good. I understand the worrying and venting and everything, I just get worried whenever I see that sorta thing... sorry. It really is a great poem, and you're so right about it. You're welcome :)