Beautiful enduring poem. You are getting closer and closer to the "showing" of a poem instead of the telling of a poem; the last line of the first stanza, for example. Very showing. I think once you get used to using metaphors and similes, you will be able to show your feelings more. I like the concept of 11:11 being a time for wishing. I've also heard that it is a very spiritual time, 11 being an angelic number, which would tie it back to the angelic use in the first stanza. Then there is the use of eternity.. again, very spiritual, very angelic.. and I like the abrupt ending.. because isn't reality like that sometimes? very abrupt and shockingly real. Very good poem overall. You are doing so well with your writing!
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Awwww, thank you so much, it really means a lot to hear that(:
12 Years Ago
You are most welcome Amanda. I am enjoying watching you grow with your poetry.
I'm super late on the review, but I really enjoyed this! It was simple and heart felt and I felt the emotion in it. I've been there, no matter how you want to interpret this poem. Well done!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I'm very late on the reply too! I apologize. But thank you so much! That truly means a lot to me (:
I know exactly how you feel in this poem. My boyfriend only lives a couple hours away, but my parents don't approve of him, or maybe it's of me having him, I don't know, but they would try to take him away from me if they could. So, I have to deal with wishing he was here or I was there, I haven't seen him in almost two years. We talk over the phone alot, but it's not the same. You've expressed something very similar here and I love it:) I especially love the third stanza, I believe it's my favorite part of the poem. Anyway, wonderful write!!!!!!!!!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 2 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Awwww I'm sorry, I hope that things work out for you two! True love always finds a way(: and thank y.. read moreAwwww I'm sorry, I hope that things work out for you two! True love always finds a way(: and thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Everybody does have that dream person they want to love. I think everyone could relate to this. It's hard to find the "perfect" one. You're still young and you'll meet him. Other than that, a great job with this write!
This poem was absolutely beautiful.
You leave your reader on the edge and them pull them right back into what they are reading.
You are very young and yet you are very talented.
I will be shelving this poem.
Oh those dreams that you wish were true... I know the feeling. You write about this so well in your poem, the emotion of just wanting to be with your love. Really nice write, I like how you ended it as well.
Beautiful enduring poem. You are getting closer and closer to the "showing" of a poem instead of the telling of a poem; the last line of the first stanza, for example. Very showing. I think once you get used to using metaphors and similes, you will be able to show your feelings more. I like the concept of 11:11 being a time for wishing. I've also heard that it is a very spiritual time, 11 being an angelic number, which would tie it back to the angelic use in the first stanza. Then there is the use of eternity.. again, very spiritual, very angelic.. and I like the abrupt ending.. because isn't reality like that sometimes? very abrupt and shockingly real. Very good poem overall. You are doing so well with your writing!
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Awwww, thank you so much, it really means a lot to hear that(:
12 Years Ago
You are most welcome Amanda. I am enjoying watching you grow with your poetry.
I'm a fourteen year old who knows absolutely nothing about writing, but I try to make the best of it.
glitter-graphics.com
I write likeStephen KingI Write Like by Mémoires, journal .. more..