Coffee just wasnt Enough

& I am not sure what was worse, the drinking or being sober.
They both have side effects that kill my soul.
I get so bored of walking such a straight line.
I missed driving around on late nights, feeling out of control.

I have recently found out that it was never the alcohol.
My character defects continued even with out the vodka.
I used rehab as a way to get out of the trouble I had created.
I didn't use it to get sober, I used it to write another chapter in my book.

I still ran my fingers through my hair.
I am still a womanizer.
I am still in the same amount of pain I was before.
But I craved the numbing feeling that it provided for me.