Trying to be happy

Another rambling about life right now.

I hide my blades
Trying to hide my pain
My tears
Behind the rain
I tell myself
Be happy
I can't stop how I feel
I'm sad
I'm scared
I'm too scared
To tell you
I too scared to take pills
People tell me
It doesn't help
I just want to be happy
All the time
I hate when I get sad
There's no reason to it
I hate when I hate myself
I shouldn't blame myself
for something I can't control
I just want it all to stop
I hate these burdens
Why did you give me these
I can't survive
I can't help people
When I'm hurting myself
Why are the broken put together
We can't fix each other
When we are broken
And I soon as I pick up the pieces
We break again
So why do you put this on me?
God why do you?
I'm not strong
I can't handle this
I try and I try
All of it goes to waste
Sometimes I think
We're too broken to be fixed
But I hope someone finds us
And puts us together
Because I'm falling apart
I can't do it anymore
I'm too weak on my own
I need help
Yet I'm scared
To afraid to say the words
I don't want to hurt anyone
But I want to be happy
I want all of us to be happy
So I put on a smile
And try again

Author's Note

Sorry I'm back to depressed poetry that's not really poetry but sometimes it just helps to get it out.