3. Upheaval

The pact is confirmed.

     Zheng and I return back to Fa Ming's laughing. About what, I won't remember; but I know that our relationship has dramatically changed forever. No longer is he a new schoolgirl crush of mine; he is my partner in business, and �" unbelievably enough �" my fiancé.
     Romance, though, seems somewhat off the table at the moment.
     The first person I see inside of the brothel is Cheung. Of course. My initial elation at the business-proposal-slash-actual-proposal slightly drains from me as I think about Zheng's handsome young fleet commander. I wonder whether I am expected to remain monogamous in a marriage that has been initiated on the basis of profit. As soon as I get a moment alone with Zheng, I'll ask him. Zheng proposed to me because he sees me as an asset to his business, not because he loves me, or thinks that I will be loyal to him, right? A rift that could divide the Captain and his Fleet Commander would be the last thing I needed. Cheung is seated near the bar in the restaurant, and he smiles when he sees me. I smile back, albeit a bit guiltily. I've led men on in the past. I don't want to hurt young Chueng Po.
     "Did you sleep well?" I ask him, joining him at the bar. The bar is a recent addition to the restaurant room; another of Ru's ideas. It is rather Western-looking, and I don't know how I feel about it. Western things have had a steady rate of destruction in my experience.
     "I slept uninterrupted all night," he says to me, stretching.
     "That is excellent to hear," I say.
     "It took awhile to fall asleep, though," he adds. "I'm so used to the sea rocking me gently to sleep." He sips on a cup of tea thoughtfully.
     "Do you know what Zheng has planned for today?" I ask. He shoots me an amused look.
     "You two have been spending so much time together," he says, "so I was gonna ask you what he has planned."
     I blush. I don't know whether to tell him about the engagement or not. Is it his business? Should I wait for Zheng to tell him? Instead of continuing the conversation, I hop off the bar stool and walk around the counter to make myself a cup of tea.
     "I've already boiled the water," Cheung Po says. "All you need to do is get some leaves or herbs, whatever you want." I smile at him warmly.
     "Thank you, Cheung Po Tsai," I say as I make myself spicy Chai. It is my favourite kind of tea at the moment. Lately we have been having more and more imports from the south-western countries of Asia, namely India. Their food, drinks, art and furniture dazzle me. I have fantasised many times of visiting the country.
     Cai Qian enters the room noisily. He looks haggard: hair strewn about, beard scraggly, eyes ringed by dark bags, clothes rumpled. Cheung greets him cheerfully. If Cai hears his friend, he ignores it, and instead heads straight for the pantry. He comically tosses out a few vegetables, then withdraws a flask of alcohol. I recognise it as rum. Cai throws back his head and takes several chugs of the bitter drink, then lowers it and wipes his mouth on his sleeve. He burps loudly. I clear my throat, and, disgustedly, turn back to my Chai. Cheung is thoroughly unperturbed.
     "Can you ever drink enough?" The younger pirate asks.
     Cai walks away from the pantry, leaving the doors ajar and the vegetables on the ground, and plops down beside Cheung at the bar.
     "The best cure for a hangover is more alcohol," Cai says. "Hey, you!" I turn from the pantry, vegetables in hand. I shoot him an annoyed glare, and continue putting the vegetables away. "Grab me some wine," Cai orders. I sigh, and shut the doors of the pantry loudly. Coldly, I turn to the bearded pirate.
     "I am not your servant," I say quietly. In response, Cai spits a thick wad of saliva and who knows what else onto the floor, then looks at me.
     "I'm in your brothel, b***h," he tells me. "I slept with one of your nice girls last night for a steep price. I'm your damn customer. Get me some wine, now."
     I inhale sharply, and rub my temple. I step forward, right behind the counter of the bar, and slap Cai Qian square on his cheek. He stumbles off his stool, the flask dropping to the floor with a crash. Cheung watches this confrontation with raised brows from behind his teacup.
     "Why�" you b***h!" Cai howls, cradling his face. "I ought'a gut you right here!"
     I regard him icily from the bar. "I doubt your captain will approve of that," I tell him.
     "You're just some w***e from the mainland," Cai laughs drunkenly. "Zheng doesn't care about the lives of w****s like you. He'd throw you out to the dogs if it suited him."
     I swallow a retort, and turn to the side, away from him. "Get the wine yourself," I mutter. I'm furious, but the energy seems to have drained from me. I don't want to waste my breath on a drunk like Cai. I'm about to leave, when I hear a voice.
     "Who am I throwing to the dogs?" Zheng asks, coming into the room. After the sight of Cai, Zheng looks like an angel. I sip my tea as Cai proceeds to tell his captain about me.
     "She refused to serve me, then she slaps me right in the jaw!" Cai snarls. "I say, we teach her a lesson." With that, he turns to me. His eyes give him the appearance of a crazed wolf. I hold his stare unblinkingly.
     "I'd think twice about hurting my wife, if I were you, Cai," says Zheng. Cheung chokes quietly on his tea. Cai gapes at his captain. If I wasn't so disgruntled, I would find his expression very funny.
     "Your wife...?" Cai repeats, bewildered. "But she's just a... is this a joke?" Cai looks from Zheng to me, back and forth, as if one of us would laugh and assure him that, yes, we were just fooling around with him.
     "Shi Xianggu is infamous for her business dealings," Zheng says. "We need her skills on board with us. Piracy isn't a career that requires only brawn and savagery anymore." Both Cai and I stare at the captain, taking in every word. Cheung stares at his teacup, and I can't read his expression.
     "But why marry her?" Cai asks incredulously, as if I wasn't present in the room. "Why not just have her on board with the crew? The men won't like it," he insists.
     "Then tell them they could have proposed to me ages ago if they're so jealous," Zheng waved away Cai's worry. "A Pirate Lord such as I requires someone to share with the riches and profit, and a bed."
     I almost jump when Cheung Po pulls his chair back with a loud scrape against the floor. He leaves the room silently. Zheng watches him go. I furrow my brows: I'll have to talk to Cheung and explain that the engagement is only a business proceeding. Before I can walk after Cheung, Zheng follows behind the young fleet commander. I bite my lip. This is exactly what I didn't want as a result. Cai kicks the flask over to the bar, then leaves the room through the outside doors to the wharf. I'll teach him who's who some other time, I lament. For now, I have to find Cheung and talk to him. I exit the room quietly, wondering where he would go. I wander the inside of the flower boat aimlessly for awhile, listening for Cheung. Whenever I think I hear him, I find out that it's really a girl in her room with a client. Right before I'm about to give up, I hear Cheung. He's speaking quietly in a bathroom on the bottom floor. He sounds pained. I walk to the door of the bathroom, eager to set things straight, but I stop in my tracks when I hear another voice. It's Zheng. What could they be talking about? Zheng sounds like he's trying to reassure Cheung.
      "... know it's for my career," Zheng pleads. "... not because I love her."
     I blink. I suspected that Zheng had no feelings for me, but hearing it that way sounded so stark. I'm about to turn away and leave, but the sound of Cheung's voice persuades me to stay. I see Cheung holding his head through the small crack of open door.
     "How can I know you're telling the truth now?" he asks glumly. "All you do is lie. It's not fair." Zheng takes Cheung's hand in his. I watch this with fascination. Zheng kisses the palm of Cheung's hand tenderly, and strokes his arm.
     "This is for us," Zheng murmurs. "Shi can help us succeed. We'll rule the sea, together. And when we have more riches than we can carry, we'll retire." Zheng moves his hands around Cheung's waist. The action looks so very intimate. I'm mesmerised with confusion. "I promise you," Zheng whispers, so low I can barely hear it. "I love you."
     Cheung tips his head to the side, studying Zheng's face carefully. He closes his eyes. "I love you too," he says finally. The two men kiss, softly at first, then feverishly. When Cheung moans into Zheng's mouth, I'm snapped out of my silent astonishment. I gasp, covering my mouth. Zheng and Cheung immediately break their kiss and turn to the door, fear written in their eyes. I back away from the door, then start to run, but someone grabs my arm before I can escape. It's Zheng.
     "Shi," he says urgently. I look up at him, lost for words. "Please," he says. "You cannot tell anyone." I yank my arm free of his grasp. I look from Zheng to Cheung, standing in the doorway of the bathroom.
     "Of course, darling," I say, bitterly. I feel tears well up in my eyes. "I won't let anyone know of your lie. Please�" continue." I turn on my heel and start briskly walking away. To where, I have no clue. Anywhere but within the same vicinity as the men who have fed me lie after lie. Before I know it, I'm outside. I feel too hot for my clothes. Tears well up in my eyes.
     "Did Zheng tell ya how he really feels?" Says Cai. I stare at him angrily. I wasn't expecting him to be right outside. As much as I dislike him, I won't tell him Zheng and Cheung's secret. I gaze out at the sea. Everything looks absolutely beautiful in the spring sunshine.
     "Zheng and I are business partners," I tell Cai. It's true, anyway. I wipe away a stray tear from my eye, and hope Cai doesn't notice.
     "Whatever," Cai shrugs. "He's going to get tired of you. He always gets tired of his women."
     I clench my fists. I wonder why that is, I think, knowing all too well the real reason why. I wonder why neither of them told me about their affair. Did they not trust me to keep it a secret? Why did they both spend nights with me? The last and biggest question consumes my thoughts: should I still marry Zheng? Nothing stopped me from saying yes the first time, when I had my own doubts about monogamy.
     I turn to my flower boat, intent on finding Zheng within its dim rooms. I know that I have the capacity to become the most fearsome and wealthy female pirate, whether my husband loves me or not. I trust myself wholly.

     Ru was the one that took me in when I had no place to go.
     For weeks, I had spent my dwindling amount of wén paying for the cheapest room at a tavern. I spent next to nothing on food, and by the time Ru spoke to me for the first time, I very well resembled a starved corpse. The work was difficult at first, but Ru made sure I was protected and safe with whatever client came through. And, for the first time, I had money: real money, that belonged to me. It was then that I realised that with money came freedom, and having freedom was the most liberating feeling I've ever had.

     Zheng is outside Fa Ming's, on the opposite deck that I had been. He is smoking something strong when I walk up to him. When he sees me, the same nervousness flashes through his eyes like when he realised I had seen him kissing Cheung. The younger pirate is nowhere to be seen.
     "Zheng." I speak before he can say anything. My brows are furrowed, face serious. This is business. I meet his gaze. "What will be my first step as a pirate queen?"
     I see a hint of relief in his expression. He smiles. I don't know whether it's because we're not talking about him and Cheung, or because I'll still marry him despite it.
     "First, we'll need to assemble the biggest fleet China has ever known," he says.