Like the version

In English
one would say
I have a headache coming on.
In poetry one would say.
As the cold wind
from the north
permeates the cranial chamber,
the synaptic highways
are snowed under
where dendrites and axons
are laced, frozen
with crystalline icicles
resembling a looking glass.
Meanwhile heavy rain
and flooding surround
the eye sockets once empty.
In the distance I see a light,
a shining light, a bright light
emulating from a red cylindrical box
called a Tardis.
Who would have thought!
Maybe a Doctor!
And there you have it
a throbbing headache
in full technicolor ,
CinemaScope if you’re lucky.
showing the two versions of literature.

Reviews

[FGFRANKLIN]

And an anatomical juxtaposition of the orbicularis oris muscles in a congenial state of contraction is just a kiss. "But you must remember this, that a kiss is just a kiss" Figurative language can be useful for description if both parties (both the teller and listener) are aware of the proffered implications. But if not, it can sound like flowery gibberish designed to pedantically impress. I'd say it depends at least halfway on the intended audience. Can they grasp the metaphor or personification as non-literal? I believe that the first duty of language is to communicate and if we can do that clearly we can express ourselves to whatever audience we choose. But you make a headache seem like a tolerable if not desirable affliction here. I enjoyed the read.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you so much for your time FGFranklin.i enjoyed reading your review and yes I couldn’t agree more.

[John the Baptist]

Some poets might say it that way. Probably not Bukowski.

[andrew mitchell]

Yes he was direct and sometimes blunt, spoke his mind if I remember. Thanks John. There’s always that one!

[Patricia Wedel]

I think of myself as The Mad Hatter.... I do love Hats... and Cats...
I may not be the Best Poet.... but I love when I inadvertently find a moment when Time has a Rhyme. I use Thyme as a Spice and sprinkle where needed...
Then I have succeeded. softly, Pat

[andrew mitchell]

You write so well Pat. It is I who uses humour to cover up my failings in poetry. I didn’t know you used spells for your poems.😉

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Andrew... casting a Spell would be lovely if our Intentions are Honorable... Humor is the Best Medicine. softly, Pat

[Ookpik]

Hah! If it isn't exactly so Andrew. : )

The pen is the weapon, in the writer's arena, and it's the manner in which it's used that defines the author to the audience - shield or sword, strike or parry, throat, ribs or back.

Scandalous demonstration on the importance of personal choice here Andrew - a testimony to the quality of your character. ;)

Hope you're well,

-Ook

(immaculate use of the word crystalline btw - such a juicy one). : )

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you and I agree totally.I’m just having some fun poking fun and breaking all the rules. I’m not bad at present I hope you are well too.

[Ookpik]

Fair play Andrew, truly, and beautifully done - so long as no blows are struck below the belt (and preferably neither the back) all else is fair in love and war. : )

Really enjoyed reading, lol, nice one

-Ook

[Thomas W Case]

Brilliant work. You capture the duality of words and the pretense.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you Thomas. Always having some fun with the rules of the game .