No wonder I'm not feeling myself today.

No wonder I'm not feeling myself today.

On having a good look at myself

I found my inner self getting low,

the box was near empty.

I had lost self.

On projecting self onto others,

particularly lovers past with the pledge

"I give all my self too you!"

I received no self back.

Luckily, I had two self's.

There was my social self,

the almighty image of self

one projected onto others

not only to impress

but to flatter oneself in the process.

And there was my inner self,

the essential self which was suffering.

The fact was as we get older

we learn to think so

we spend more time in our minds,

and less time in the present

with our direct experiences.

So while I found out

I had two self's

through time the great sages taught us

there is no self....

self as we know it.

It is only a projection of our mind.

Startled by this news

I'm feeling I've lost my mind

someone else has got it!

It's now " No wonder I'm not well, I'm not feeling my mind today!"

I only wish Buddha was here

he is selfless,

he would know!

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Love the great wordplay and playfully contemplative tone of this poem Andrew. Is searching for ‘self’ ultimately “much ado about nothing”? You raise this interesting and thought-provoking question in a clever tongue-in-cheek style. The fourth verse is so true it hurts! Well, until I can solve your conundrum I guess I will be hoping for a posthumous revelation from Buddha- unless, that is, even he is lost in self! Excellent write my friend.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you for a top review Annette I am all smiles with myself, pardon the pun.!:)

[Onlyme]

Excellent write Andrew. finding the true self. Entertaining, interesting and so very true.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you Dawn for your words.

[Crowley]

Lol...this was really great. We all get to feeling that way sometimes and it is so true about as we get older, living in our mind and letting the "what if" take over "the let's go". I do believe that under the Boddhi tree it was the same thing that the Buddha was wrestling with. Amazing write...loved it!

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you very much Crowley for your kind words.

[Margie F]

How I know too well about not being myself or having lost my mind. Love gives and gives and doesn't ask for anything in return. Love isn't good at math! Eventually, a deficit presents itself and then what? I find that my social self can hold her own and put on a good face, but in the end, the heart, like a stiffed creditor, still calls for payment threatening repossession. Great piece.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you so much Margie for your words.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

OK to be brutal Andrew I think you have passed your 'self life'!

(Not sure you Antipodeans will understand the pun!)

[andrew mitchell]

Do you mean shelf life John, thank you for your words John lol. I have passed my self life I am married with kids so it is the end of self as we know it!😀

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed so play on words translates lol!

[andrew mitchell]

Lol"..................

[@_av_poetry]

Lovely poem.

"I give all my self too you!"
I received no self back.

These lines stand out very true to me. Selflessness is good when it has limits. Its easy to lose yourself trying to please others. If a "self can be perceived in many parts, one should always keep parts of themselves close. There is only so much you can give.

[andrew mitchell]

thank you dear poet.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think we have three selves..the one we give to others, the one others see in us and then the one we really are. that one often stays hidden...and with introspection it might be one we feel better not sharing...too dangerous? too fragile? who knows.
but answers come slowly through life...and most of those answers just raise more questions.
j.

[andrew mitchell]

for every answer another question indeed J Thanks for reading.

[kentuck14]

Andrew,
This is definitely your mind running loose without a leash! (just got back from walking the dog!)
Actually this is quite philosophical and clever in the way you project these different selves.
Yes, I too have heard the word that there really is no such thing as a self. Hmmm . . . I wonder who that was out there walking my dog!? I guess maybe you and I should go out together and look for our missing minds . . . or selves . . . whatever comes first. Afterwards we can stop for a beer and give our brains a well deserved bit of refreshment. Thanks for the poem, mate.
Tom

[andrew mitchell]

Thanks Tom for a top review. That’s worth a beer or two! I read an article on self which prompted this write plus suffering from allergies lol.

[kentuck14]

just as bad over here!

[Relic]

I think sometimes in searching for what is...we often find what isn't. Life can be confusing when searching for answers we can't find.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you relic. Cheers.