I tried to drink slowly!

I tried to drink slowly!

I tried to drink slowly.....

not in a gulp.

There was no time to pour

another drink;

" The elixir of Life."

 Anyway, I was only given one cup

to enjoy

until....

the chalice became empty,

then I was gone

and another was poured a drink.

Reviews

[Timothy Ryan]

First of all, if you're drinking slowly, then you're doing it wrong. I feel like this is a skeleton of a poem almost. There should have been a more lines to paint a scene for it to really come alive. The opening line grabs your attention. It has you wanting to know why. But the rest of the poem didn't really fulfill the curiosity. I'd take more time and really figure out what you want to say. Thank you for sharing your writing.

[andrew mitchell]

thank you for your comments and visit

[Timothy Ryan]

You're welcome. Keep at it.

[andrew mitchell]

I don't elaborate on poems these days, just keep them simple with as much brevity as possible lol. I value your comments though and understand, thanks Timothy