At the bar!

I see a woman at the bar.

Hello! Is this seat taken?

I beg your pardon. 

Did you say I look like bacon?

Huh! No!

Hello! It's me again! Nice day!

I beg your pardon. 

Did you say my hairs grey?

Huh! No! 

Excuse me, would you like a dance?

Your very crude!

Did you say my flatulence?

Huh! No!

Excuse me, can I borrow a match?

I beg your pardon 

Did you say borrow my snatch!

How rude!

Huh! No!

You're terribly rude!

Boy! Oh Boy! Are you in a mood!

What's going on today?

Is everybody going DEAF!

Barman, another drink!

Hey! Did you just call me Ratfink?

Huh! No!

And by the way! Where's your dentures?

WHAT! 

Reviews

[nazia]

Ha :D ... gave me a good laugh. Nice write AM ..:)

[andrew mitchell]

Thanks nazia my aim is true if you laughed at my works lol

[....................]

Another creative and witty piece from your pen, Andrew. Well played!

[andrew mitchell]

Thanks FT Hope you had a laugh!:)

[....................]

Oh, I laughed Andrw, enough to make my dog bark... woof, woof :)

[andrew mitchell]

lol................

[micky]

Another whitty one by Andrew....hahha you always bring me a smile
Thank you

[KWP]

hahahaha - nice twist

made me smile this one - well done X

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you KWP for dropping by. :) x

[sereenaoutloud]

LOl hope your eyesight is better than ya hearing and you can read this awesome ...yes i said awesome review...lol
You are a breath of fresh air with your pieces.. bringing a mixture of fun, creativity, relatable ideas and topics into enjoyable Fantasitc writes!! well done AM

[andrew mitchell]

As we say in Oz "No wucking furries" mate!, my friend LL Glad you came to visit and enjoyed the ride! :) x lol I always appreciate your kind words sereena, thank you!

[sereenaoutloud]

Lol you are more than welcome AM :))

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Now this is more typical of the rye humour from down under that you have us used to Andrew. Inventive.

[andrew mitchell]

Thanks John. My task is to make you guys laugh more and bathe more in the northern hemisphere . lol :):):)

[alf]

Hi Andrew. Here you go again!! I can see myself heading back to THE shop if you continue making me laugh!!!!!!!! I have seen and heard so may 'mis-hears' in my life and you still come up with new ones!!!!!
Sooooo much fun! alf

[andrew mitchell]

lol Thanks alf It was so fun and I could have gone on and on lol and even mature rated lol haha:)

[alf]

I can imagine. How is Rover, by the way??

[andrew mitchell]

Neutered lol Is that the word lol. We have a girl dog but my fav cats had to be desexed by law!

[alf]

Yeh, neutered, and why do humans get to make that decision for our furry friends, anyway!!

[Carrie.]

Ratfink! Oh my god, that is funny.
It's cute and humorous. Thank you for sharing.

[andrew mitchell]

Hi Carrie, thank you for dropping by. pleased to meet you. :):)

[Carrie.]

Nice to meet you too, Andrew Mitchell. :-)

[Jamestown]

Well written with humor oozing!
Completely enjoyed reading this piece,
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[andrew mitchell]

Thanks Jamestown, glad you dropped by. you must of seen the sign on our window "OPEN"

[Jamestown]

Yep, saw that the AM pub was open and thought why not lol!