THE SARCASM STANDOFF

"So! What you having, kid?" asked the waiter.

" Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,

  Humpty Dumpty had a big fall."

"Splattered against the wall."

" No! I don't like eggs" answered the kid.

"How bout.....

Jack and Jill went up the hill.

To fetch a pale of water."

"No I'm not thirsty!" says the kid.

"How bout...

Little Miss Muffet sat on her ....

Eating her curds and whey?"

" Little Miss Crumpet!"

" No! I don't like turds!" answered the kid.

"A wise guy! Hey!"

"How bout a clip around the ear and a taste of my belt strap punk!

"Yes! Please!"

"Can I!" answered the kid .

Reviews

[CaillenJames]

Hahaha! Kids, eh? I feel like this any time I try to talk to mine. Whether it's asking them to do something or explaining why something is. I've considered talking just as backwards as they do, but I'm worried I may confuse myself.

You've done a great job, Andrew. Thank you for the laugh.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you CallenJames pleased you dropped by .Nice to meet you.:)

[AaronFreitas]

Haha good work... sounds like one of my smart a*s children :)

[andrew mitchell]

What not you too lol

[AaronFreitas]

haha my kids are all smart asses... drives me crazy they are mini me's haha

[andrew mitchell]

lol.......... I need help then!!!

[alf]

Hi Andrew. Wow! Now you have taken charge of the kid's arena as well!!! What can I say? This is just a brilliantly comical write that in its own way is sad because it so exactly reflects what we have taught our children . . . to speak their minds without fear of consequences. You have created a perfect scenario and described those events with the perfection of a doting father!!!!! alf

[andrew mitchell]

Thanks alf

[Valentine]

Very funny. Never can satisfy some children. Valentine

[sereenaoutloud]

OMG when the kids argue it drives me crazy lol you captured this really well and very creatively with the use of nursery rhymes!
Im sure sometimes my kids plan together to deliberately choose to say the opposite just to annoy us parents!!

[andrew mitchell]

yes they do and what your kids are not perfect either lol

[sereenaoutloud]

what mine?? hello.. they have me as their mother of course their perfect.........well almost perfect.....ok sometimes perfect!! lol

[andrew mitchell]

haha like mine cute when their good!

[sereenaoutloud]

lol exactly ..or when they are sleeping...gorgeous little angels hahah

[Ariana Omnomnom]

This is really weird and unusual, but at the same time I love it. Keep doing you, bro.

[andrew mitchell]

Hi Ariana, pleased to meet you, thanks for dropping by and glad you enjoyed! :)

[Ariana Omnomnom]

Lol nice to meet you also. What was your inspiration for a this?

[andrew mitchell]

I'm not sure. lol The story just came to me when my kids were being nasty to each other and I was over hearing it, ready to pounce if things got too nasty!lol.

[Ariana Omnomnom]

Lol how old are they?

[andrew mitchell]

identical twin girls 6 and a half

[Ariana Omnomnom]

Lucky you :P my mom would probably pull out all her hair if she had that

[ANTO]

Identical twin girls - if one of them is 6 and a half, what age is the other then?

[andrew mitchell]

LOL ANTO its funny you say this as the second was born 6mins later the first dominates saying I'm the eldest lol Kids! Have you found that song? Sloe Gin!