THE SARCASM STANDOFF

"So! What you having, kid?" asked the waiter.

" Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,

  Humpty Dumpty had a big fall."

"Splattered against the wall."

" No! I don't like eggs" answered the kid.

"How bout.....

Jack and Jill went up the hill.

To fetch a pale of water."

"No I'm not thirsty!" says the kid.

"How bout...

Little Miss Muffet sat on her ....

Eating her curds and whey?"

" Little Miss Crumpet!"

" No! I don't like turds!" answered the kid.

"A wise guy! Hey!"

"How bout a clip around the ear and a taste of my belt strap punk!

"Yes! Please!"

"Can I!" answered the kid .

Reviews

[CaillenJames]

Hahaha! Kids, eh? I feel like this any time I try to talk to mine. Whether it's asking them to do something or explaining why something is. I've considered talking just as backwards as they do, but I'm worried I may confuse myself.

You've done a great job, Andrew. Thank you for the laugh.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you CallenJames pleased you dropped by .Nice to meet you.:)

[Pete]

LOL. when sarcasm meets sarcasm - who'd have thunk it? leave it to you. you are too much.

[θεά]

It is an excellent take on the cynicism and blase attitude of the current crop Andrew, and as a fellow writer and reader I must be comment that your title undersells the idea and content of your verse. That apart, I am glad to read your quick witted commentaries on the state of things and that it gives me great pleasure to read your works everytime.

[andrew mitchell]

Hi Malika, thank you for your kind words and dropping by.

[softlyfall]

Ah Andrew Andrew Andrew, there is no quip you fear to quip, no sardonic giggle you will not giggle. So much intelligence behind it all, and that itself masked by a grin.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you Amy, you are too kind!

[A.marie.speaks]

Your sense of humor always brightens my mood! Thank you for your unique poems! This one reminds me of my oldest, haha

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you A. Marie

[Bear]

So you are starting a new joke fad, rather than a man walks into a bar it is going to be he walks into a library, I love. In fact, I have some ideas "Albert Einstein walks into a library and asks for a book on relatives saying I am looking to make them relevant" to high brow?

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you Bear

[.]

A nice write, Andrew. Pretty funny.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you so much Doodley

[Ilerah]

That made me smile, nice poem, really well written.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you Llerah for dropping in.

[Ilerah]

Your welcome

Ilerah

[JayceeC]

Oh the way kids talk around things, I've decided they like to just get a reaction out of adults Thanks for the grins, I was ready for some lightness on a dreary day.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you JayceeC I hope your day improves. You gave me a smile:)

[....................]

I came for the entertainment and left completely satisfied... I will have the eggs, curds and whey and a glass off water but please, keep your belt on :)

[andrew mitchell]

lol thanks Ft I don't use punishment of physical means but in my day belts and canes were the toast of disclipline lol

[....................]

I wasn't afraid of being hit, Andrew, i was afraid your pants would fall off :)

[andrew mitchell]

haha says he who spits coffee lol no I don't show anyone the contents under the roof over my toolhouse lol

[andrew mitchell]

Good night Ft its 1am her now :)

[andrew mitchell]

here now!...................

[....................]

Nighty night my friend... it's okay to take your belt off now.. your toolhouse will be shrouded in darkness :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Alternative poetry full of wit as always Andrew. Very original and entertaining with great scene setting.

[andrew mitchell]

Thanks John Yes I'm quite unconventional A bit of a rough cut diamond compared to the polished styles, But they say variety is the spice of life or is it you take the good with the bad!!! lol :)