SORRY I'M CLOSED

In my youth, all I encountered was knock-backs. I was too nice ( you know the saying nice guys come last ) to be chewed up, and spat out emotionally in the dating scene ... but that came later.

Knock! Knock!

Open your door.Let me in.

I try to open her senses;

To wet her thoughts,

Like a river over a rock,

Rain over a stone.

I surround her all;

With my song and dance

And in return,

A cold heart stance.

She's aware of my intentions

So I  try again .knock! knock!

She's steadfast! My voice echoes

Down her halls, in a void of defiance.

Unbreakable is her thoughts;

Her walls of resilience.

Her lock cannot be opened

Or broken. I haven't the right key

Its in, I just can't turn it.

Like a piano I haven't played

In search of the right note.

Rock-fast is her defences

An impenetrable fortress

But her flag's flying high.

She's aware of my intentions

But she has no need.........

                                       no need........ no need......

I leave,

         maybe another day, another time.

I didn't see her sign "I'm Closed"

Reviews

[ANTO]

i love the metaphor of the store and the lover's heart - very cool Andrew. Your poetry is fyling so high abov mines now I can hardly see it but its class to know its taken off so well. Just brilliant
The close of this is so sad. you know how to affect the romantics heart.
:)

[andrew mitchell]

as always thank you my friend:)

[Neytri]

Sir, its so damn good. My favorite's the last line. Though I'm a child yet( that's what my parents tell me) , I still could relate to it to a great extent.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you dear poet!:)

[softlyfall]

How incredibly erotic is "I tried to open her senses to wet her thoughts" Andrew! made me very frustrated that you did not get in.
Of course she is aware of your intentions...so is any woman reading this and wanting your intentions fulfilled.
My thoughts would be...try going in the back way.
he he
Once again, you write so very well, elicit the readers' involvement completely.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you for your kind words, what great compliments too softlyfall. Lol I should have gone behind the store to see if the backdoor was open maybe the side gate was locked!!;)

[Rachael Lea]

I really like the imagery you have used. It is very interesting. Very well done, I can feel the determination of the lad, and I can feel a connection with the female. The resignation at failing to woo resonates very well at the end. Job well done.

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you very much Rachael and nice to have you drop by!

[sereenaoutloud]

ooh the dating scene in our youth...horrid thing ! I hated it too!
This is great write and vey clever "I'm closed" brilliant my friend!!

[andrew mitchell]

Thanks sereena and my door is always open to your poetry 24/7 lol :)

[sereenaoutloud]

Lol you said it on here now...everyone on WC is my witness.. 24/7 poems, and poem rants, and poem lectures and poem questions and poem formats and poem grammar and poems..poems...poems...lol :))

[andrew mitchell]

I think its raining........................poetry! :)

[Gee]

Hi Andrew,really enjoyed this one,relatable to all I'd imagine.This is my favourite of those of yours that I have thus far read.SWEEEET.

[alf]

Hi Andrew. This seemed like a very retrospective poem to me, so I went back and read your notes (which I seldom do, my bad,) and that confirmed it for me. It does seem to me that the nicest guys get the worst treatment, and have seen it happen. Hurrah, for putting this out in the public arena!!! An opal, in writing, alf

[andrew mitchell]

lol Thanks alf

[GreenEyedPoet]

It's a sad but good write Andrew. I liked it. :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A sad tale told with great pathos.

[andrew mitchell]

No matter what you do If you ain't her type nothing will change this to convince her, as she already has her man in mind!

[nazia]

Sometimes is just better to leave and give people time. you can always come back some other day after the storm has passed to see if the person you left was actually yours.
Nicely penned AM :)

[andrew mitchell]

Thank you nazia for your kind review. yes courting in my youth was horribly challenging lol rejection and more rejection. I laugh about it now as just lessons growing up chasing those beautiful apples of one's eyes. :)

[nazia]

Ha :D
Guess courting days are the same for everyone. Its like that cycle, the ones you like run away from you and the ones who like you, you run away from them. lol :)

[andrew mitchell]

Exactly lol those lovely apples just roll away