Mother

My mother never forgave me

for killing myself.

She said,

I ruined her and all that she was,

making her regret all the times,

she said I was better off buried in the mud.

Making her regret all the times,

she spit hot fire,

that seeped into my soul,

until I felt that I had no place left to call home.

Making her regret all the times,

she locked me in the basement,

and plugged her ears,

until the noise of my existence,

would finally disappear.

My mother never forgave me,

for killing myself,

and yet,

she ignored me when I cried out for help.

My mother regrets,

that I'm no longer there,

and yet,

when I was,

she couldn’t be bothered to care.

My mother claims she will never forgive me,

and yet,

I am not the one who must beg for forgiveness.