Diamond Eyes

Diamond eyes,

and satin tears.

 

Sickening lies,

and unfaced fears.

 

He was a fake,

and she trembled for the truth.

 

He was fire,

she burned.

 

He lied,

she believed.

 

Was it his fault?

Was it her's?

 

He moved on,

She was left alone....

 

Alone except for one:

his son.

Reviews

[zainul]

This is yet another case of a girl being a victim of the pretended love of some He was fake.The poetess now questions if it was his fault.She also asked if it was her's fault?
I think that the second question is very significant.If the girl's decision was wrong to go with the fake.There is little scope for others except showing pity or sympathy.
Another very important message is that though the fake lover left her alone,yet she carried the scar of her faulty love affairs,a son with controversial paternity.
The helpless girl will have to bear the pain with the innocent son throughout her life.
Wonderful write.
Shows the anarchy,irresponsibility and crime of the society very vividly.

[Aly]

Thank you very much for your insight and review =)

[zainul]

You are always welcome.

[Tai Ryens]

Quite a common subject for many of the present society's inhabitants; sociopathic pigs that (literally) leave their lovers pregnant. I do agree with Roger below however, he states that it would flow much, much better without the unneeded conjunctions. Nonetheless, enjoyable.

[Aly]

Thank =)

[Roger Ferguson II]

i love the opening rhyme scheme, it draws you in and then the contrast of the other stanzas. i think cutting out the "and"s and the "or" will let it flow better. "he was fire. she burned" "he lied. she believed" "was it his fault, was it hers?" thats only my suggestion however, i still enjoyed the read. good write.

[Aly]

Thank you =)

[I'llXloveXherXforever]

Is this based on a true life experience?

[Aly]

Nope.

[Persephone]

Wow....that has me moved...I love the rhythm to it...it is simple but still filled with emotion... wonderful job, thank you for sharing

[Aly]

Thank you!