Goodnight And Farewell

The darkness covers the landscape like a thick blanket across a bed of fresh, crisp linen . As I stand outside my apartment gazing skyward, through the outline of the barren trees the stars begin to wink at me to bid goodnight and farewell.

Such peace overtakes my body, I feel at rest and ready to head off to bed. But suddenly, my mind begins to race with a million thoughts a minute. Thoughts of people with struggles much greater than mine. My struggle tonight it seems, will be sleep itself as many faces run through my mind like a time-lapsed movie, morphing themselves to clear consciousness Physically I am tired and ready, but my mind will not allow itself to shut down for the night.

I think of my sister struggling in her fight for life and wholeness. The disease that is invading her body, and the long road she faces to find wellness. I think of my Mom and Dad, worrying about my sister and all us kids. I think of my brothers, with their own struggles and restless thoughts. I think of those I know struggling to make ends meet in these tough economic times. I think of those that worry for their uniformed loved ones in harms way in far away lands.
I think of those that might read this that are struggling with some of life's heavy burdens. I hope the solutions will find their way to you soon.

I even think a selfish thought. If I can't sleep tonight, how will I feel in the early morning as I rise to greet the day and ready myself for work. Why do I care so much? Why do I let so many things occupy my thoughts?
I guess I must come to grips with the fact that I am a feeling human being, sensitive to my surroundings and to those I love and care about. It is a burden sometimes to care, but I must embrace it, it is who I am. It will eat me alive if I don't, and cause too many sleepless nights if I run from it.

Maybe that is the key, to accept the burdens we have before us and not say "Why me?" Maybe, just maybe for me I should be saying "Why not me?" I am feeling a peace from within now. My brain has allowed my hand to speak for it, to clear the clutter, to pick up the pen, and to translate it's burdens on paper to see with honest and true clarity.
I am feeling an ease now. Relaxed and truly peaceful.
At last, I can now return the stars offering of goodnight and farewell.

Reviews

[LisetteCanWrite!]

So much great insight that is so relative to what alot of people are suffering today.. anxiety.. overthinking.. and insomnia. Unfortunately the price of thinking can have such brutal consequence.. which is brilliantly portrayed here.. in such open honesty. "Why not me".. a thought that through selffishness we all think "why me" by natural instinct.. yet so many have such harder struggles than just thinking and not sleeping!

Complaints in everyday struggles .. self-contained poison... I am sleeping a bit better these days.. I have to force myself to stop thinking before bedtime.. elsewise I am prone to lose sleep over something that is not within power or reach in meaning.. and doesn't aid in the daily routine of having to make a living to live and eat. How many suffer such a rollercoaster of emotions? Great job.. I really understand where you are touching throughout this writing on so many levels. Though it's sometimes harder to look at the bright side when sitting on the wrong and darker side of the moon... lol.. thank you for sharing your wisdom.. and a piece of your heart and soul.

[Theresa]

Wow. This is really amazing. It is beautifully written and I love the question you impose:
"Why not me?"
It's so easy to say why me and complain about your everyday, but if you take a second to think of others and their struggles you may realize that your life is not that bad. I work with a woman who is battling breast cancer after going into remission from the same disease for eight years. She always has a smile on her face and nothing bad to say about a single person. She never complains about her weekly trip to get chemo or her million doctor appointments besides that. It makes you step back and realize that maybe what you have to complain about is nothing. If she can look at the positive side why can't you? I'm going off on a tangent here so I'm going to end with this: I absolutely love this piece. Thanks for sharing.