chapter 5

alexs POV

 

here we are at the concert. i have my head phones in blasting music so i cant here the screaming around me.

 

zayn had bought me a a pair of head phones that can block out any sounds and im really glad he did.

 

"daddy!" jackson cried. i looked at him.

 

"no honey daddys not here." i told him, hold his tiny body closer to mine.

 

"no momma, wook." jax put his hand on my face and forced me to look at the stage.

and there, standing there in all his gorgeousness, was zayn. he was singing his heart out, you could see the vein on his neck, that i always found a turn on, popping out as he hit a high note.

 

his high note ended and he looked over in my direction and smiled. wtf. does he know im here or something? maybe hes talking to someone else. i turned around to see who he could have smiled at. perrie edwards was standing there grinning at the stage.

 

she looked at me, and i realized i was starring. she smiled kindly at me and i did the same and turned back to the stage.

 

i glanced at josh, and boy, he looked hot. you could see his hair was slightly damp from sweat, and the muscles in his arms bulging at every hit of the drum. our eyes met and i smiled.

 

*after the concert*

 

jax and i went to the backstage door, showed the guard our pass and he let us in. i placed jackson on the floor and held his hand. i looked around for any sign of josh but i couldnt find him.

 

i felt jackson tug at my hand.

 

"its daddy, momma, wook its daddy." jackson cheered and tried pulling me in zayns direction. i shook my head and continued walking. jackson somehow got out of my grip and ran towards zayn.

 

"jackson!" i yelled, walking after him.

 

"daddy!!" jax squeeled hugging zayns leg. i saw zayn jump a bit and look down. his eyes widened.

 

"j-jax?" zayn stuttered. jackson just smiled and held zayns leg tighter.

 

"jackson, there you are." i said walking over pretending he was lost.

 

"daddy, i missed you!" jax whined. zayn just stared at the boy.

 

"jax, sweetie. c'mon." i said. zayns head whipped up to look at me. i froze. oh s**t. niether of us said anything, we just starred at eachother.

 

"alex?" i didnt respond, i just ran away.

 

i ran til i ended up running into josh.

 

"lex! hey!" josh said picking me up and hugging me.

"hey joshy." i replied. josh placed me on the ground and kissed me quickly. i smiled, as did he.

 

"did u like the show?" he asked. still holding me.

 

"i loved it!" josh was about to respond til i heard someone calling my name.

 

"alex!" i turned around to see zayn coming towards me with our- i mean my son in his arms.

 

josh looked at me surprised and raised an eyebrow.

 

"you know him?"

 

"kinda." i replied.

 

"aly, i think you forgot something." zayn said gesturing to the small boy snuggled up in his arms.

 

"thanks." i said and tried to get jackson out of his arms but jax just held on tighter to zayn.

 

"no! i dont wanna weave, mommy! i wanna stay wif daddy!" jax cried hugging zayn more, zayn started to rug his sons back to calm him down. i glaned at josh and he looked confused at hell.

 

"um alex, why did jackson call zayn daddy?" josh asked me. i didnt know what to say.

 

"because jackson is my son." zayn said. i looked at him, shocked. a look of realzation hit joshs face.

 

"wait! she must be the alex you were always telling me about!" josh said to zayn. zayn nodded.

"alex can i talk to you? privetly." zayn asked. i nodded.

 

"josh, can u please watch jackson?" josh nodded and took jax from zayns arms.

 

zayn gently grabbed my hand and pulled me into a dressing room which im asumming is his.

 

"alex before you say anything just let me say this. im so sorry for leaving you all alone. im sorry fot not keeping in touch. im sorry for not telling you. i miss you so much it hurts, no kills me. and im sorry that im not there to help you with jax. im sorry if i hurt you in anyway. i just want u to know that i loved you and i still do now." zayn told me looking deep into my eyes.

 

"zayn," i started to say, "do you have any idea how much pain you put me through?!. you left me with no notice whats so ever! you left me to take care of our 1 year old son all by myself! everytime i tried to call you or any of the other boys you ignored me! do u know how much that hurt to know that my best friends and my at the time boyfriend is ignoring me when i need them?!?! and when i found out you blocked me or changed your number, i felt like i wanted to die. i had no friends to help me. my parents wouldnt even talk to me. the only person i had was jacksons babysitter."

 

" i needed you, zayn. i need you with me, and you werent there. when i met josh, i felt like things were gonna be okay. it was so long since i last saw him that i didnt reconize him and i was okay with that. he is great with jax and jax loves him. since josh came, jax has stopped asking about you. which makes me feel a hell of a lot better cause that way i dont have to lie to him. i dont like lying to my own sone. it kills me. and if you think you can just come back into his life like nothing happened, you're crazy! im done, zayn. you could have come back to at least explain your self but no, you didnt. zayn you fucked up big time with this one, your on your own. im done with you. goodbye zayn." with that i left the room not even waiting for his reponse.

i walked back to jax and josh and they were still there where i left them.

 

"mommy!" jax squealed. josh put jax on the ground and i opened my arms to hug my son.

 

"hey honey!" i smiled at him. josh came over and wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head.

 

"are you okay?" he asked. i look at him and nodded.

 

"never better." he smiled and bent down slightly to kiss me. it was a short kiss but i didnt care.

 

"do you wanna head home? i can drive you if you want?" josh offered, still holding onto me.

 

"yeah, its way past jacksons bedtime. and you dont have to. i can call lauren--" josh cut me off.

 

"no, your not calling her at 11 o'clock. i will drive you." josh insisted. i didnt feel like arguing over something stupid so i just agreed. josh took jax from my arms and jax immediatly cuddled into josh's arms.

 

i grabbed josh's free hand and we walked down the hall towards the exit. we past by zayn and he was glaring at josh for 2 reasons most likely, 1, josh is hold his son and 2, josh and i are holding hands. hes just a big baby that needs to move on.

 

we got to josh's car and he put jax in the carseat- CARSEAT!?!? since when does he have a carseat.

 

"since when did you have a carseat?" i asked josh once he got in the car.

 

"i got it from my aunt. she let me have it cause she didnt need it anymore." he explained.

 

"josh, you didnt have to do that."

 

"dont worry about it babe. i wanted to. i figurged we will be mostly using my car so i think

you would want your son to be safe so i got him a carseat." aww thats so sweet.

 

"aww thats so sweet! thank you joshy." i leaned over and pecked his cheek.

 

"thats all i get?" he whined. i giggled aand kissed him on the lips for a few seconds then pulled away. josh had a smirk on his face. "much better." i playfullu slapped his arm and

told him to drive.

 

when we got back to my house is was oast midnight. and josh helped me put jackson to bed.

 

"hey baby," josh said getting my attention away from the tv in my room. "im gonna head back to the hotel, okay? i will be over in the morning."

 

"you can stay the night if you want. i dont want you driving this late." i offered. josh looked at me scepticly (sp?).

 

"i wouldnt want to intrude-"

 

"oh shut up and get over here. you're staying the night and thats final." josh came over to me and climbed on the bed so he was hovering over me.

 

"i like the demanding side of you." he whispered sexily and smirked. "its kindof a turn on." he smirked again and leaned down and starting kissing my neck...

Author's Note

sorry if it sucks..writers block :/

Reviews

[luv2dream]

I love it! Sorry I haven't commented sooner! BUSY BEE I AM!!

[aly-luvs-1D]

hiii i need ur smarticle brain for ideas for the next chap cuz i got nothing :(

[luv2dream]

Are you still on this website? If you left I might cry!

[aly-luvs-1D]

im still here lol i just havent had any ideas so i havent updated

[luv2dream]

Need any help?

[aly-luvs-1D]

Yes! Help would be great :)

[Sunny]

Nah its's good!! I know how that feels got writers block as well soo annoying.
i think this is how you spell sceptically, when you write just copy it into word for a spellcheck and all that.
:)