Ingress

I have seen this before....

I can’t even see the sun, only an endless sea of green in front of me. Sitting up, the ground looks so far away. How tall are these trees? Everything is quiet.

I turn around and my heart soars. An impressive stone staircase cuts through the green. My legs shake yet I stand. I start up the path.

I brush my fingers against a standing fern. Dew droplets spray off. I feel the moisture all over. My skin shimmers like the leaves. 

I walk slow. The steps have been worn smooth. I still cannot see an end. This mountain must reach the sky.

I look up. There is no sky, only green. A mist is setting in now, dulling the vibrant color. I must be near the top. 

I have seen these steps before. Has the path looped around? How is that even possible? Even the mist is gone.

I must be losing my mind. The leaves are brighter now. The dark stones of the path are my only comfort. There must be an end.

I see a brown spot up ahead break the scape. Could it be a sign? I force myself faster. My luck most certainly must be changing.

I freeze. There is a dead fern. All the leaves are cracked and shriveled. The air turns dry.

I sit. It has become difficult to breathe. I try to focus on the fern but I can see only green. I lay down.

I can’t even see the sun, only an endless sea of green in front of me. Sitting up, the ground looks so far away. Why does this feel familiar? Everything is quiet.

I turn around and my heart sinks. It is there. The stone staircase cutting through the green. My legs shake yet I start up the path.

I see the fern up ahead. Almost impossible to tell yet I know it is the same. I walk by. I touch nothing.

I saw this in my dreams. But only at the end. I rub a callous on my thumb. Anything to keep from reaching out.

I grasp my hands together. The stones are smooth on my feet as I walk. They are just as beautiful as I saw in my dreams. The green is more intense.

 

I do not know why. The ferns beckon me. Reaching towards me with their delicate leaves. I know I must refuse.

I saw a girl. In those dreams. She touched the ferns. Everything went dark.

I see something up ahead. It breaks the uniformity of the green. I continue at my pace. It does not seem to be moving.

I recognize it. Again it feels familiar. That is impossible. It must be centuries old.

I want to reach out to it. To feel the bone under my fingers. There is a chip on the third bead from the center. I know this.

I reach out to take it with me. Every bone won’t let me leave it behind. It is strange. This is a woman’s necklace.

I am able to pull my hand away. It is one of the most difficult things I have done. I continue walking. I somehow feel lighter.

I hear something. It is getting louder. My legs move faster of their own will. The green seems less oppressive.

I almost cover my ears. The roar is deafening. The plants are growing smaller. Abruptly all goes quiet.

I have made it. I can see the sky. It is the most stunning shade of blue I have ever seen. I collapse to the ground and cry.

 

I stride out of the cave. The forest is quiet. Not even the wrens are out. I now know why.

I stretch my front paws in front of me. It is time to find life again. I glance back into the rocks. This place will no longer be home.

I raise my head to the wind and walk away from the mountain.

I follow this new heart where it takes me.

I will forget soon. 

Author's Note

What do you think? I am definitely open for feedback as this was a new style for me to try. As I started I noticed a pattern forming so I continued it throughout. These stories aren't really going to have a theme or style - I'm just going to write what comes to mind from a photo prompt.

Should I add the photos I am using as inspiration to each?

More to come!

Reviews

[RoseHedges]

I wanted to like this but I am afraid I didn't get it / enjoy it on first reading. Re-reading it, it has grown on me. I think the overly repetitive nature of the style used was fairly distracting. I would have liked it interspersed with another style / view point. I noticed you used the word must quite a lot - that would be one point to consider.

You could perhaps try being more descriptive with the actions of the character in places - for example, 'I sit down' changes to 'I sit down heavily [on the sodden green earth] or whatever. Please also remove or change the line 'I walk slow' as it is grammatically incorrect, thanks.

Don't throw this away - it has a lot of promise and I think there is plenty to keep which is excellent but it needs a little bit of work so it is slightly more readable.

[Lemon Cakes]

Thank you so much for your comments. As I said this was more of an experimental writing than I am used to. The intention was to be repetitive. As for the lack of description, since it is told from a first-person perspective I did not think it would be believable for someone to describe the ground as "sodden green earth", especially if they were disoriented. I am also aware of the grammatical error of that sentence, it was done on purpose.

[Q.L. Diehl]

I would love to see the photo that prompted this. I like the repeating theme. I also enjoyed the ending, it snuck up on me and those are some of my favorites. The action was a bit hard to follow at times but I feel like that was intentional. I feel like it was meant to be confusing and disorienting so that's good. My only real suggestion would be to add a line between paragraphs making it easier to read. As far as the content, I don't have any suggestions mainly because discovery writing is about exactly that, discovery. Keep it up. I'm looking forward to reading more.

[Lemon Cakes]

Thank you so much for the review. On the original document I did have everything 1.5 spaced but it seemed to get very long on here so I was unsure if I should keep that format. Maybe I will edit it to be a bit easier to read :). I will upload the picture I used as well!