My Story Untold

No one can hear my story, nor can they ever.

My words - only whispers

Cruel silence does befall me.

No one hears my whimpers,

Nor do they know my story.

 

‘Tis a tale too terrible,

To ever curse your ears.

A memory that's so horrible,

It’s haunted me for years.

 

As a product of it,

My speech, forever, is gone.

So I can’t speak my story,

       To anyone. 

Reviews

[Cari Lynn Vaughn]

I like the idea that some things are unspeakable. You could really play with this metaphor, using images of the mouth and reference the idea of voice or the voice being caught in the throat. The poem does feel forced and it left me wanting to know what your story was. Perhaps you could go back and rewrite it or write another poem using the metaphor of the unspeakable. It has a great deal of potential! Thanks for taking the time to share your poem...

[J]

It was short but good.Mysterious in some way.Great.still :D

[C. Porter]

Great poem. I love the horror of the words and the painful ideas. GJ

[Tate Morgan]

A good tale well told
Tate

[Sheila Marie Carr]

Wow this way absolutely amazing....it made me sad and want to cry. I could feel the pain in this write and my heart goes out to you.

[Unwashable]

wow, amazing. So much feeling. I..I felt it! and it's like.. so true. I been trough a lot and i cant speak about it. To anyone. Thanks for sharing this :D

[just a touch of bitters..]

As others have pointed out before me, there are potentially some things you could rewrite... but what particularly caught my attention was that the final stanza didn't rhyme, which I liked. It kind of gave it a note of finality, and using the smaller font on the last line really made it seem like you were withdrawing from the world.

Very interesting concept. Thanks for sharing!

[Alicia™]

This poem has great potential but I think you need to rewrite it. There are places where it flows really well, and places where it just doesn't. But all in all, I still like it.

[Tiffany]

It is still very good even if it is not the best. I thought the first stanza was forced but everything else flowed really well. Thanks for sharing, t.