Lust vs. Chastity

Lust vs. Chastity

A Poem by Lauren Beth
"

A haiku written for a contest...

"

I want to succumb

Throbbing, sweating, so damn hot

I can’t so I run

© 2009 Lauren Beth


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Featured Review

Great piece, especially for a Haiku! I can totally relate to the subject matter, as you might learn from some of my writings. The words you chose we strong, effective, and vivid. Nice flow and rhythm. I like that the lines all make sense and go together. I've read some ridiculous Haikus, so this, again, is a refreshing piece.

Suggestion: Only thing I would change is to place a comma after "can't" in the last line. I think it needs a pause there. First time I read it, the two thoughts bled into one another.

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I can feel the intensity, erotic, yet sad at the same time..
Or perhaps, wise.
You run, because you were driven out of the garden of love for some reason.
* "Driven out, and compelled to be chaste."
Something was, or is...
* "binding with briars my (your) joys and desires"
Anyway......This is very well done.:-)

ice

* William Blake...from "The Garden Of Love"

Posted 14 Years Ago


So much said in so few words.....

Posted 15 Years Ago


Fear catches us all at sometime in our life.
Great write!!! Thanks for sharing.

Kelley

Posted 15 Years Ago


Very good Haiku. Its very hot to,I think I need a cold shower now.

Posted 15 Years Ago


Great piece, especially for a Haiku! I can totally relate to the subject matter, as you might learn from some of my writings. The words you chose we strong, effective, and vivid. Nice flow and rhythm. I like that the lines all make sense and go together. I've read some ridiculous Haikus, so this, again, is a refreshing piece.

Suggestion: Only thing I would change is to place a comma after "can't" in the last line. I think it needs a pause there. First time I read it, the two thoughts bled into one another.

Posted 15 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Damn that is a great haiku... sticking to your morals despite temptation... great message in such few words...

I tried one once, they are hard to do so I give you mad props.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 20, 2009

Author

Lauren Beth
Lauren Beth

NJ



About
I enjoy writing poetry, usually just what comes to me. I write for me, it's like just something that I need to get out. Whatever hits me at the moment I start jotting down, on sticky notes, napkins.... more..

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