Him

His scent lingers, it’s comforting,
But soon a memory.

 

His voice rings loudly, it’s echoing,
But only in my head.

 

His touch I feel on skin, caressing,
But solely in my dreams.

 

His laughter I hear, it’s enchanting,
But in my imagination.

 

His lips pressed on mine, trembling,
But just an illusion.

 

His smile I can see, it’s shining,
But suddenly goes dark.

 

His love so strong and true, lingering,
But no longer here.

Author's Note

I wanted add more to this one, but I'm kinda stuck. Let me know what you think :)

Reviews

[Jibey]

I was gratfeul for what was here... no more needed.. the point was well made and the neat for supported the sentiments well

[Georgia Gypsy]

I really enjoyed this! You convyed the emotions perfectly!
well done.

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

I love this poem, its very powerful! great work! x0x0x0x

[poetic soul]

His smile I can see, it's shining,
But suddenly goes dark.

wow!! amazing......painful to death..... :) and i guess its got a perfect end! :) thanks for sharing this....

:) Smiles,
Poetic Soul

[Freder Fredersen (aka G..]

Well done! The longing seems to last longer than anything. I've had a Her that suck to my ribs that way. When the memory went, I think it took a chunk of me, too. You have positoned every word and phrase perfectly. I wouldn't change a thing. There's a feeling captured concisely and with great tact here. Great piece.

Cheers!
FF

[~angelalala~]

this is an amazing write. so sad, so beautifully written. i love the entire poem. the sense of melancholy, of longing, of heartbreak behind it. "His love so strong and true, lingering, But no longer here." so well put together, describing each emotion perfectly. an amazing poem.

[Drew Wade]

this is so sad. but I have to commend you on the form, the long first line and short second one... yeah, i can see how you would get stuck, because it would get hard after a while to keep the form consistent, but good job for what you have, and I do think that it's complete and doesn't need added to, really.

[Amanda]

i think it is good like it is...it delivers the power and point taken. it may be simple and straight forward, but it is well written...i could feel the pain you express quite well. thanks for sharing.

Amanda

[just is]

Very well written and very powerful, I like this write alot. I can feel the enegry.

[Winter McPherson]

Very good! I love the cadence and the theme of going from your imagination into reality. Very clever write. The way the verses have the same rythm throughout makes it a joy to read. I think its perfect as it is.