Prayer

Inspired by the growing violence in our big cities...

 

Prayer

 

Dear Saint Nicolas

On the 8th day of Creation

Adam and Eve

Were the only pair

Of the Human Kind

 

Though tempted

By the vicious snake

They went and multiplied

As ordered by a Higher Force

Their offspring being in demand

 

Created to the image of

The vengeful Force

Even their sons

Cursed by the

Survival of the fittest

 

Set the tone

For violent mayhem

In the name of the Higher Force

Sending his blessing

For He is the One

The growing Flock

 

Has to follow in

Order to be lead into

Temptation, following

The rat’s path, fastening

Into a race

 

The flock cannot escape

Destined to be part

Of the Human Race

Forever multiplying till

The Day has come

 

They even fail

To fit into the picture

Of violence and mayhem

Were Survival is no option

Only Murder and Rage

Prevail in the Cage

Author's Note

It is not my habit to be inspired by the Bible or by Nicolas (Coppola) Cage for that matter, but both gave me the images I needed to express myself.

Reviews

[Dr. S. D. Blankenship D..]

Very neat miss Hendricks I love the mood and the scene you have placed in this St. Nicolas is one saint I know little about but I know a lot about Saint Thomas, but that's another story. I love the way you wright its nice and clean and you use so much of you brain to tell a story/poem in so little words.

Thanks for posting
~Wa-ya A-di-si

[A LaDy NaMeD D]

....i'm mad, this was a good poem and that's all i can say. I don't know how i'm a writer...and i only like to express something in one line, or sometimes one word. But...that's all i can say. I like the poem it was good. I loved the biblical refrences.

Danni J

[Mysty Rayn]

This is great. I am very impressed. I think it is so hard to write about the Bible or Faith. You did very well with this.

it is ambient, with good form.

Your words are chosen well.

And it jives well with your use of the bible. A wonderful and inspiring spiritual resource.

Your background seems to be traditional. Pre reformist?

Great fundamentals, as always.

A wonderful piece.

[bluessadmood]

oh humans will never learn,this fight and rat race,the survival to the strong what fools,there were so many witty writings and guidance by some great minds for hundreds of years writing to brighten the foolish mind ,but no they will never learn ,they think they are the smart ones ,the stronger ,the ones who has the better advantage over others to rule other to walk and smash to death their dreams ,hopes and their right to live just like any other,but no there is always thoughts that,only certain species should take the throne others either killed or made slaves no more,i liked this but it really made me sad ,very sad

[Dani California]

What an intense piece Denise... ! It seems we fight to have love prevail, we cry, we plead, we beg... and when all is said and done, some will turn toward that love, and others will flee from it. Hence the horrific suffering the plagues mankind as a whole... there is always, suffering.

" Created to the image of
The vengeful Force
Even their sons
Cursed by the
Survival of the fittest"

This deeply saddens me, as it is the truth.

We built the cage, I suppose it's up to us to
find our way out of it.

Superbly written!!

[J. James Reider]

The Nicolas Cage bit was a twist... I seem to think of Santa Clause when I hear St. Nicolas, but having that blazened in bold at the beginning and Cage in the last line, I was able to put the two together and begin wondering if that was what you were aiming for.

The fact about violence is, as long as the population grows, violence will grow. Expecially where it grows at a hurried rate and authorities aren't able to grow as fast as the population. It doesn't matter if there are ten people in a town or 10,000, there will always be some violence present, except on a greater scale.

Very well written (:

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Love the writing, I know the wickedness of this world is frightening and you have taken me on a trip from creations temptaion by the snake to todays continued influence. I wish there were words or a masterplan to make it a better world.

Insperational work.

[pal]

"They even fail
To fit into the picture
Of violence and mayhem
Were Survival is no option
Only Murder and Rage
Prevail in the Cage"

Very true. Soul needs to be protected at any cost, coz its most precious one.

pal

[R J Askew]

Love the ending of this...everything seems to turn on that final word. And yes, life does feel like a cage with us all scrambling over each others backs -- for oil, copper, wheat, rice, land, money -- in a horrible, horible way. But once we realise this we can quietly withdraw from the mayhem and simply refuse to be a part of it. How we do that is a matter of personal choice. But I would rather be a non-entity without the cage than a winner within, as to win in the cage requires the vilest of cunning and ruthlessness. And of course all the angry losers then are left to fight among themselves on their various street corners for what scraps of respect and comfort they can find. All hail capitalism.

[DeAn]

very intriguing write my friend. it has elements from different cultures all rolled up into one.
this is great.

-DeAn